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[<eureka AT hctc.net>]

Hi Roxanne, I'm in late on this thread. From what I've 
read, there's some very good advice coming from the list 
that I would agree with.

In my own situation, I was single without kids, and I knew 
I wanted to homestead for about five years before leaving 
the city, only I always figured I would meet a man there 
and we'd go off and do this together. I felt very alone in 
the city.

I had been dating a city boy who was legally bound to live 
within 25 miles of his ex until their son was of age. He 
had no life dream. Our relationship wasn't going anywhere, 
and I figured I wasn't getting any younger, so I announced 
I was going to move to the country to do my dream. He 
seemed supportive, until I actually landed a job and found 
a place. He called, desperately pleading for me to stay, 
saying he would *even marry me*! I hung up and we had no 
contact for several years.

Those couple of years, I did just fine on my own. Then he 
turns up living in a rural town 15 minutes away, having 
taken a small town job after a high tech layoff and 
somehow worked out the distance with the ex. I thought 
maybe something had changed in him. He drags the 
belligerent son over on weekends to work in my garden. We 
get--briefly--engaged. Because cell phones don't work 
here, the ex gets my number to check on her son, and 
instead starts calling at wierd hours and leaving scathing 
messages. I gave them all the boot.

It was about five years into homesteading that I really 
wished I had a partner. I joined Green Singles, and 
developed friendships with several homesteading and 
homesteading wannabe guys and fell in love with the one I 
am now married to. Life has never been better. I have one 
relative, and two friends who met their husbands online 
and couldn't be better suited to one another.

Maybe the most loving thing to do is to just let go, and 
let each of you live your respective dreams (although it's 
been pointed out your husband doesn't seem to have a dream 
of his own, he just doesn't share yours) and see how that 
goes. Seven years sounds like a long time to be 
unemployed, to not have thrown oneself 100% into the 
hometead project, so maybe he is dealing with some issues 
that have nothing to do with you and the homestead? Issues 
that would still be there in Louisiana?

I doubt if you'd be happy just spending one night in the 
finished house...you'd always be wondering about all those 
other nights that could've been spent there, since 
homesteading isn't a completed snapshot, but a process. (I 
agree, the completed house wouldn't have changed what's 
going on).

Which would be better, living a compromise--or less than a 
compromise--never experiencing your dream, or perhaps 
going it alone for a while and then meeting someone like I 
did that shares your dream completely? You are a lovely, 
multi-talented woman, so you won't have to go it alone 
unless you choose to.

--Sage