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  • From: bob ford <bobford79 AT yahoo.com>
  • To: roxann <roxann AT ancientearthwisdom.com>, homestead AT lists.ibiblio.org
  • Subject: Re: [Homestead] Give up the dream? My dilemma
  • Date: Sun, 23 Nov 2008 06:24:18 -0800 (PST)

Roxanne, since you and I are the only two on the list right now, I will say
a couple of more things. 12 is almost 13. I think once a child is of that
age, most of any direction that can be set by a parent has already been set.
And, you don't know how many times he could change his mind about where he
wants to live, over the next few years.

It sounds to me that you almost have made up your mind, after thinking
through everything reasonably; and are worried that other family , friends
might try to talk you into going back against what you know is right for you.
All I can say is that it will be easier to stand your ground now, and stay
put; than to ever try to move out and homesstead, again.

By the way, some people on the list will be away for a while, starting this
weekend -- holiday stuff. So you might not get too many answers, right away.


You are in a spot of anguish. Hopefully some, on the list, or elsewhere, can
be of support ................bobford


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--- On Sun, 11/23/08, roxann <roxann AT ancientearthwisdom.com> wrote:

> From: roxann <roxann AT ancientearthwisdom.com>
> Subject: Re: [Homestead] Give up the dream? My dilemma
> To: "homestead AT lists.ibiblio.org" <homestead AT lists.ibiblio.org>
> Date: Sunday, November 23, 2008, 6:56 AM
> Bob,
>
> The doing it alone isn't the part I'm worried
> about anyway. I'm sure I can manage with hired help now
> and then for that part. The thing that bothers me is the
> choice itself between staying or going. My youngest is 12.
> He was thrilled to be here, too, until his dad started the
> rumbles of leaving. He was quick to jump on that bandwagon.
> I think with him it has less to do with what he really wants
> and more to do with being afraid to put down roots if
> they're going to be pulled again. the first move was
> hard on everyone. my oldest son and i took to the new place
> right away, immersing ourselves fully. my daughter took a
> bit longer and never fully came around and always said she
> wanted to go back and attend LSU when she graduated. to do
> that more affordably, she'll need to attend her senior
> year in Louisiana so she'll have residence status. I was
> prepared for hubbie and her to leave for that purpose. what
> i was not prepared for is that my husband is not planning to
> return and is n
> ot interested at all in homesteading ever again. if it
> were up to him, he'd walk away from the house we're
> building and let the land go to the bank (we used $50K worth
> of it for collateral to build the house) and be done with it
> altogether. To follow him means giving up entirely for me,
> too. I don't think I can do that.
>
> Your experience with wishing you'd acted sooner but
> haven't, is the kind of feedback I'm asking for. I
> wonder if anyone else has made the move and then had their
> family revolt and issue an ultimatum? What was your choice
> and did you regret it later? Of course I am the only one who
> can make the choice, but I'd like to hear other's
> experiences.
>
> Roxann, NW AR
> http://blog.ancientearthwisdom.com (Ozark Musings from the
> homestead)
>
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