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  • From: EarthNSky <erthnsky AT bellsouth.net>
  • To: homestead AT lists.ibiblio.org
  • Subject: Re: [Homestead] was british- now Bev's realization
  • Date: Fri, 06 Feb 2009 01:47:41 -0500



Cathy wrote:
Bev-

Do you feel the general hostility near your home or just when you venture
toward Atlanta-like locations? I have been in places where I felt some kind
of tension, but not everywhere.

I feel it less in natural places, but anywhere there are lots of people, I feel it. It is not like an anxiety attack or anything..it is hard to explain. We see. We feel. We hear. And I sense. If you have ever walked past the stove and passively felt the heat when you weren't expecting it...it is somewhat like that...I FEEL their hostility, their anger, their sadness. It is like I absorb it or something, and then, to get rid of it, I have to shake it off by immersing myself in my own zone. I know it sounds strange, and it is....It goes away when I play in the dirt, or the water, or just connect with a different, more natural energy.





This is probably going to sound weird. I've never tried to articulate this
before. Can you tune out the crowd tension? I know that I can tune in to
the general emotional ambiance, if I attend to it. Mostly I don't. I feel
kind of silly writing this, but feeling the ugliness hurts. People _are_ on
the defensive; they're not open to each other, in general.

I do try to tune it out, and I can. If I couldn't, I'd go crazy, I think. :) As I am driving down the road, _if_ I make eye contact with another driver, I smile and bob my head with the music and give them a happy-go-lucky impression. I try to emit happiness so that I don't absorb their negative energy. Unfortunately, this is not a sustainable practice for me...but yeah, I can do it for a time. Driving for long periods of time is stressful, however.


Don't you think some of us were born fiercely independent? I think I was--I
told my father he looked like a monkey and ran away when I was 3 years old.

Love that!
Yes, I KNOW many of us were born independent and stubborn. I'm just not sure that that trait affects whether or not one sees a hostile universe or a friendly universe.


My homestead-y fantasies started early, too, thanks to Johanna Spyri. I
read Heidi scores of times as a youngster, usually by the light coming
through the crack of my bedroom door when I was supposed to be asleep. I
wanted to run with Peter and the goats, sleep on a hay bed in the loft and
eat toasted bread and cheese. I also wanted to help people learn (to read,
etc) and reach out to hurting folk. In a very real way, it's what I've been
able to do. So you're right; it's the result of a part of my childhood, but
it's a happy part.

Do you remember who read Heidi to you for the first time?

B




--
"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race"

~ Calvin Coolidge




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