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[EarthNSky <erthnsky AT bellsouth.net>]

Cathy wrote:
> Bev-
>
> Do you feel the general hostility near your home or just when you venture
> toward Atlanta-like locations?  I have been in places where I felt some kind
> of tension, but not everywhere.

I feel it less in natural places, but anywhere there are lots of people, 
I feel it.  It is not like an anxiety attack or anything..it is hard to 
explain. We see.  We feel.  We hear.  And I sense.  If you have ever 
walked past the stove and passively felt the heat when you weren't 
expecting it...it is somewhat like that...I FEEL their hostility, their 
anger, their sadness.  It is like I absorb it or something, and then, to 
get rid of it, I have to shake it off by immersing myself in my own 
zone.  I know it sounds strange, and it is....It goes away when I play 
in the dirt, or the water, or just connect with a different, more 
natural energy.




> This is probably going to sound weird.  I've never tried to articulate this
> before.  Can you tune out the crowd tension?  I know that I can tune in to
> the general emotional ambiance, if I attend to it.  Mostly I don't.  I feel
> kind of silly writing this, but feeling the ugliness hurts.  People _are_ on
> the defensive; they're not open to each other, in general.

I do try to tune it out, and I can.  If I couldn't, I'd go crazy, I 
think. :)  As I am driving down the road, _if_ I make eye contact with 
another driver, I smile and bob my head with the music and give them a 
happy-go-lucky impression.  I try to emit happiness so that I don't 
absorb their negative energy.  Unfortunately, this is not a sustainable 
practice for me...but yeah, I can do it for a time.  Driving for long 
periods of time is stressful, however.

> Don't you think some of us were born fiercely independent?  I think I was--I
> told my father he looked like a monkey and ran away when I was 3 years old.

Love that!
Yes, I KNOW many of us were born independent and stubborn.  I'm just not 
sure that that trait affects whether or not one sees a hostile universe 
or a friendly universe.

> My homestead-y fantasies started early, too, thanks to Johanna Spyri.  I
> read Heidi scores of times as a youngster, usually by the light coming
> through the crack of my bedroom door when I was supposed to be asleep.  I
> wanted to run with Peter and the goats, sleep on a hay bed in the loft and
> eat toasted bread and cheese.  I also wanted to help people learn (to read,
> etc) and reach out to hurting folk.  In a very real way, it's what I've been
> able to do.  So you're right; it's the result of a part of my childhood, but
> it's a happy part.

Do you remember who read Heidi to you for the first time?

B




--
"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will 
not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius 
will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the 
world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone 
are omnipotent. The slogan 'press on' has solved and always will solve 
the problems of the human race"

~ Calvin Coolidge