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[Rebecca Lewinski <rebas_own AT hotmail.com>]

Roxann, you got a lot of good advice here.... not sure what else I can add to 
it.  I'm still catching up on email after being offline so, maybe this was 
already suggested-- is there any way you two can make it a long distance 
relationship?  Given current economic conditions, giving up your land I think 
would be a mistake, and I think he will come to realize that as the 
recession/depression deepens.  Let him go work where he needs to work, with 
an agreement that he comes home frequently.  People during the 1930s 
depression often left their families to go find
work in other parts of the country, but came home when they could.

I will share that due to economics, my brother and sister-in-law set up two 
different households shortly after their first-born arrived.  My brother had 
a shot at a farm (his dream!) on the other side of the state, but there was 
no work for either of them there.  So, after much soul-searching (and a lot 
of criticism from both sides of the family), brother and his new little son 
moved to the farm.  My mother and grandmother stepped in to help with the 
baby for the first 18 months, while my brother got to work making the 
decrepit farmhouse habitable.  My sister-in-law stayed at her lucrative job 
with the phone company, which was a good six to seven hour drive away.   She 
visited most weekends until she could get transferred over to the area of the 
farm.  Yeah, there were hitches along the way--like my baby nephew not really 
bonding with his mom--though they're thick as thieves now even though he's 
all grown up and on his own (and boy, is he SWEET to little old ladies), but 
all in all, the experience was a success for everyone.  

Me, I can kind of relate to not wanting to stay on the farm.  I got hit with 
a lot of health issues these last two years that limits my mobility (still 
have at least another surgery to go).  I can see my husband can't keep up 
with things like he used to.... and I'd really, REALLY would like to try 
living in a house that isn't in a constant state of construction!  But the 
spouse isn't ready to downsize yet, so I teeter along tending the parts of 
the garden I can reach without putting myself in bed for three days.  The 
city filled in around us and zoning changes make it so we don't keep animals, 
but we don't have time for them as it is.  But I would really, really miss 
having my own spot of ground to dig in (like I miss the view and wildlife 
visitors I used to have!).  We have thought about renting out garden space to 
all the houses on teensy shaded lots that have filled in around us.  They 
might find having an allotment of decent dirt something of value over the 
next few years.

good luck to you and yours

-Rebecca in the great Northwest

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