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[sjc <indexer AT localnet.com>]

At 08:03 PM 11/16/2006, you wrote:

> ...........Of course, this has oft been turned around on
> me, as some claim I used the kids as weapons and that I am the one who
> is manipulating.  You have to go back 45 years.........

This reminded me of a bit of history......

I had a similar situation (14 parents and step-parents total plus seemingly 
untold numbers of full, half-, and step-siblings), and like Bev, left it 
behind. I had 3 kids of my own and was often the butt of such 
accusations.  But the kids never had even one (and that is never, ever) 
card, letter, or phone call from any relatives, including their 
grandparents, so when my family complained, my stock reply was something to 
the order of "I'm sure he'd enjoy a card on his birthday; do you need the 
address?" and I let it go at that.  As to the kids themselves I hardly ever 
mentioned family, so it wasn't high on their minds.  They were busy being kids.

At one point, when the youngest was 3 yo, we took a trip and for reasons 
too long and boring to relay, decided to go by my father's place.  By that 
time he was on his 5th (I think, not quite clear how many were marrieds and 
how many shackups) wife; my own mother was his first divorce and many years 
dead by then.  He lived on an island and on the way over there it occurred 
to me that my youngest son had never even heard of Grandfather McKay, so I 
gave him the 2-minute 3-year-old's course in genealogy (your parents' 
parents are your grandparents; we are going to visit my father, your 
Grandfather McKay, that was about it).  As I was making introductions (this 
is Grandfather McKay, this is Grandmother McKay, blah) after we got there, 
his little eyes lit up all at once and I knew he was going to say something 
I didn't probably want him to say but before I could get over there and 
catch him he'd put 2 and 2 together and said excitedly " Grandmother 
McKay!  Grandmother McKay!  I thought you were dead!"

The 'new' grandmother McKay caught on right away and fortunately, she 
thought it was hilarious.  My dad, otoh, never spoke to me again.  Oh well, 
nothing new there.

So even these unbelievably wacky family situations have their funny 
moments.  That's the one all my kids remember and the one I choose to 
remember, too.

Susan Jane, in Maine