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[EarthNSky <erthnsky AT bellsouth.net>]

Clansgian AT wmconnect.com wrote:

> In threads such as this one, when the consequences of one's choices 
> and decisions are considered, it is often pointed out that no one 
> WANTS to be sick, in debt, overweight, hungry, etc.
>
> Of course not.  When a person lights up a smoke, they don't say, "I'm
>  doing this because I WANT to get cancer."   Nobody *wants* to, but 
> it happens anyway as a result of the sum and cumulation of a life 
> time of decisions each time to smoke or not smoke.

This is sooo succinct.  Why can't I express myself like that?

I eat right, I exercise, I hate being unhealthy, and no matter how hard
I try or want to be healthy, I am still making decisions counter to what
I say, i.e. I am still smoking.  No one would cut me any slack because I
smoke.  Smokers are evil and the downfall of society, you know?
If I hear of someone on welfare or assistance, and I know they are
working and have kids and are doing the right things in MOST areas of
their lives, I always wonder what little skeleton exists in the closet
that is keeping them from being as they claim they wish to be.  Are they
drinking too much, perpetually late to work, are they driving too
expensive of a vehicle??  Are they spending money on things like cell
phones or cable TV instead of opening a savings account? There is room
for improvement in everyone's life, and you really never know until
after the change is made how one change in lifestyle will affect where
you end up.  Positive or negative.
Each decision affects the whole of one's life.  No matter what I do,
I'll never be truly healthy (in most folks mind) until I quit smoking.
In my other post, I suppose I was blaming the victim a bit, because I do
believe that our choices create our environment.  When we moved out of
suburbia, we sold things to do it.  We no longer have life insurance, a
retirement plan or any of that stuff.  It was a sacrifice so that we
could make the move to start over in what we deemed was a better place.

> Where each of us stands today is almost entirely the result, the 
> combined result, of all the decisions we have made in our lives. 
> Getting to some other place will be the result of all the decisions 
> we make from here on out.

And there is some part of me that says "we make our bed, and then lay in
it".  People today don't want to face the consequences of their poor
decision making.  They want others to pay for their own mistakes.
As for those born and raised in a cycle of poverty, there are indeed
ways out..I've seen it first hand..the example that comes to mind is my
student Amber.  Her mother is a Waffle House waitress, her stepfather,
when he isn't in prison or drunk, is a day laborer.  There's 4 minor
children in the family, and 2 deadbeat adult children that lounge around
the trailer doing nothing.  Amber is 18.  She is the one exception in
her family.  She has the drive to rise above what she has known.  It has
taken her almost 3 years to get on the right track, and she is still not
there, but she is living in an old car that doesn't run just so she can
out of the trailer park and be within walking distance to college.  I
don't even think she has any books, but her determination is there.  I
think she will make it. She has already broken the cycle of getting
pregnant at 16 and she is drug free.
Most people raised like Amber will do as Gene says and continue making
choices in the example of their parents, but not all.  It's easy to stay
on the same known road, and hard to get the guts to jump out into
unknown territory.  The people that are willing to do that and whatever
it takes are the ones who will change their lives and this world.

> I have heard many times, just as expressed by some in this thread, 
> that almost everyone recieving food stamps (do they still call it 
> 'food stamps' now that it's on those plastic cards?) really needs 
> them and the abuse of the system is rare.  Don't see it that way, do 
> I.

A LARGE percentage of folks in our county receive assistance in some
way or another...free lunches at school, WIC, welfare, Section 8
housing, etc.   Here, I think, the majority of these people are using
that assistance improperly.  Driving through "the projects" is like
driving through on Devonwood (a local upper middle class street).  You
see fancy cars, patio furniture, and kids sitting on the sidewalk
with cell phones and hand held games.  These are not necessities, these
are luxuries, but most people now consider these things as mandatory
things to have.  My cigarettes are not a necessity, either.  It's an
indulgence, and as long as I am smoking, I would never expect financial
help from anyone, I wouldn't ask, nor would I take.  I am living the
life of my own choosing, for better or worse, and until _I_ make the
decision to change my life and stop smoking, the money for other, better
things(like having enough to take a trip) won't be there.  I can sit
here and whine about Ron's varying paycheck, tax increases, the cost of
healthcare, how I can't find a decent job, or whatever, or I can start
with myself and make improvements on those things I can control: my own
life and the everyday choices I make, like what I put into my mouth, how
I wear my hair, and what clothes I put on.  Simple choices like turning
a light off or switching to compact fluorescents matter greatly.

 Most of our food comes from the
> farmstead here but from time to time I stop by a mart or grocery to 
> pick up this or that.  After I have agonized over getting the best 
> bit of produce for the stir fry or the best possible deal on a 
> gristly scrap of meat for tamales, almost every time I am in line 
> behind three buggies piled high with things I cannot afford to buy 
> and the score is paid with that plastic card with the American flag.

Frustrating, isn't it, to see so much waste.  I could buy a lot more
food with $20 than the people I see using the card.
> Have I ever seen a buggy with flour, dried beans, canned and frozen 
> vegetables, ... the things that would make the food dollar from 
> whatever source go very far ... have I ever seen those things in a 
> basket paid for with the food stamp card?   Yes, on very rare 
> occasions.  Mostly I see convenience food and expensive cuts of meat 
> the cost of which I could feed twenty people for a month.

Same here.

> The way out of that poverty/dependency cycle exists.  It isn't easy, 
> it isn't pretty, and it doesn't start by saying "Poor baby, I'm sure 
> this came upon you as a fell swoop in a single night and you had 
> nothing to do with ending up in your present circumstances."

Right on, IMO.  I love it when someone says, "but his house burnt down"
or "he lost his job"...rarely do these things come out of the blue.  How
did his house burn?  Was he smoking in bed, using candles near curtains,
or using a heater in a carpeted area?  I recall that Wendy's house once
burned from an electrical short behind the stove.  Perhaps she could
shed light on how her family pulled out of that situation.  I got into
rabbits because lightning struck someone's house.  Poor wiring and
flammable insulation (known problems) caused the house to burn to the
ground and the lady consequently had to sell the land and her barnful of
rabbits.  They couldn't afford to rebuild, so they took what money that
came and bought a travel trailer.  To the best of my knowledge, they are
still living in it.  They were forced to change their lifestyle, but
they chose something that would be financially feasible for them.

> So to say that someone in those dire circumstances doesn't WANT to be
>  there is true if by that one means that if you could wave a wand, or
>  win the lottery, or some such and move to better digs around a 
> better table, then they would WANT to make the move.  Buth that's 
> like saying that someone with advanced lung cancer would *want* to 
> suddenly have intact lungs and be in full health. Your reckon?

LOL...When I get lung cancer, y'all can slap me around to your hearts
desire and tell me that I brought it on myself.  I can tell you this, I
won't be looking for a transplant or asking the government to pay for
any treatment I get.  I'll take my punishment for the choices I am
making, and it will most certainly be the end of my life.
> But when there is a way out of the cycle no matter how hard, rocky, 
> unglamorous, difficult, it might be and the person instead remains in
>  the cycle, then, yes, they WANT to be there compared to the 
> alternatives.

I tend to agree.  I think our opinion is not politically correct though,
James, so I think we can expect some heat on this one.

Bev
--
BevanRon of EarthNSky Farm   NW Georgia USDA Zone 7
34.498N 85.076W    Bev is Earth, Ron is Sky