Homestead mailing list

[bob ford <bobford79 AT yahoo.com>]

Rules Damn Yankees Should Know of When They Move to (name your Southern state)

 

 
1. Don't order a steak at a Waffle House.  They serve breakfast 24 hours a 
day.  Let them cook something they know.

2. Don't laugh at folk's names.  Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Tammy, Mari 
Beth, Marva, Edna Earl and Inez have been known to whip a man's ass for less 
than that.

3. Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda; this can lead to a beating.  
Down here it's called Coke, even if you want a Pepsi, Sprite or Dr. Pepper.  
Got it?

4. Southern women don't fancy the smart mouth Yankees.  Just remember, they 
all have Big brothers and Bigger daddies.


5. Don't call us a bunch of hillbillies.  Most of us are better educated than 
you and a whole lot nicer to boot! We just talk that way to piss you off.

6. Yes, we know the humidity is high; just quit your bitching, spend your 
money and go home.


7. Don't go to the Cracker Barrel and substitute toast for the biscuits.  If 
you do this, everyone will know that you're from Nebraska. Just eat the 
biscuits like GOD meant for you to do.  And do not order poached eggs. No one 
from the south eats eggs poached.

8. Don't try to talk with a southern accent if you don't have one or use 
regional idioms you can't possibly understand.  Nothing makes us madder.

9. Don't be telling everybody how much better it was back home. We're not 
going to change to make you happy.  So if you don't like it here, Delta is 
ready when you are.

10. Our food isn't overcooked; yours is undercooked.

11. Flirting is a southern tradition.  It doesn't mean you're going home with 
someone later.  It doesn't mean the person flirting with you is even 
interested.  It's all just practice.

12. No, it is not silly to call our parents Daddy and Momma.

13. Down here, "Kiss my ass" is a perfectly acceptable way to close an 
argument.  You can't get more closure than that!

(...(borrowed by) ...bobf



 



--- On Tue, 10/28/08, Clansgian AT wmconnect.com <Clansgian AT wmconnect.com> wrote:

> From: Clansgian AT wmconnect.com <Clansgian AT wmconnect.com>
> Subject: Re: [Homestead] Snow
> To: homestead AT lists.ibiblio.org
> Date: Tuesday, October 28, 2008, 8:56 AM
> > >Ah. I thought that described a Damn Yankee.
> > 
> 
> The definition varies.  Usually a Damn Yankee is a regular
> Yankee that won't 
> go back north  in spite of how absolutely everything was so
> much better there.
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