Homestead mailing list

[Gene GeRue <genegerue AT ruralize.com>]

On Mar 28, 2008, at 12:40 PM, paxamicus AT earthlink.net wrote:

> Eh, it's not unrealistic criteria, we are pretty clear on priorities
> and wants and musts.

Pretty clear? If they are not written on paper they are not clear, nor  
are they fully considered by a partner.

>  No, the real issue is Roy wanting to go North
> and me feeling like we'd be better off in the South, somewhere. I was
> really feeling weird about going South, about being an obnoxious
> Yankee, but our trip to West Virginia last week reminded me there is a
> lot more to the South than dueling banjos. There is a tradition of
> hospitality and civility that I had somehow managed to forget, living
> as I do in what is essentially an extension of Washington, DC, and not
> the South at all. I reckon if I am an obnoxious Yankee who is open to
> reeducation I'll be ok. ; )
>
> Anyway, that's my frustration. In the end we will find the right place
> and make the decision together but in the meantime keeping abreast of
> everything everywhere so I can keep throwing out possibilities is
> making me a little goggled eyed and cross. I just want OUT of here so
> I can be settled somewhere. I am such a hermit at heart.
>
> Who do YOU want, Mr GeRue? Care to voice any whacky choices?

Whacky choices increase odds of failure. I got all twelve of the items  
I put on my criteria list. Depending on the edition you scored, my  
criteria list is on page 54 of the 2nd edition and page 40 of the 3rd  
edition. If you have not yet found a copy in a library or used book  
outlet or can't afford a copy or simply think it's a waste of money, I  
will happily loan you one.

If none of the above interests you, at least read my Twenty Essential  
Steps To Buying Rural Property Right, on my web site: www.ruralize.com

It is critical to reduce wants, needs, dreams, fantasies and must- 
haves to writing. Focus on those features of the natural and human  
world that allow and encourage your lifestyle choices. Once you and  
Roy have written your criteria lists independently of each other and  
then read the other's, you will more likely respect differences and be  
able to evolve to compromises that both of you can be happy with.  
There are good communities and good people in all the states. North- 
why? South-why? People in Vermont do indeed act different than people  
in Georgia. So does the weather. Long lists of pros and cons for each  
area can easily be written.

Resist impatience. Today's mistaken choice is much more wrenching to  
remedy in a few years than carefully dealing with today's angst.