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  • From: Gene GeRue <genegerue AT ruralize.com>
  • To: homestead AT lists.ibiblio.org
  • Subject: Re: [Homestead] Who DO I want?
  • Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:38:39 -0700


On Mar 28, 2008, at 12:40 PM, paxamicus AT earthlink.net wrote:

Eh, it's not unrealistic criteria, we are pretty clear on priorities
and wants and musts.

Pretty clear? If they are not written on paper they are not clear, nor are they fully considered by a partner.

No, the real issue is Roy wanting to go North
and me feeling like we'd be better off in the South, somewhere. I was
really feeling weird about going South, about being an obnoxious
Yankee, but our trip to West Virginia last week reminded me there is a
lot more to the South than dueling banjos. There is a tradition of
hospitality and civility that I had somehow managed to forget, living
as I do in what is essentially an extension of Washington, DC, and not
the South at all. I reckon if I am an obnoxious Yankee who is open to
reeducation I'll be ok. ; )

Anyway, that's my frustration. In the end we will find the right place
and make the decision together but in the meantime keeping abreast of
everything everywhere so I can keep throwing out possibilities is
making me a little goggled eyed and cross. I just want OUT of here so
I can be settled somewhere. I am such a hermit at heart.

Who do YOU want, Mr GeRue? Care to voice any whacky choices?

Whacky choices increase odds of failure. I got all twelve of the items I put on my criteria list. Depending on the edition you scored, my criteria list is on page 54 of the 2nd edition and page 40 of the 3rd edition. If you have not yet found a copy in a library or used book outlet or can't afford a copy or simply think it's a waste of money, I will happily loan you one.

If none of the above interests you, at least read my Twenty Essential Steps To Buying Rural Property Right, on my web site: www.ruralize.com

It is critical to reduce wants, needs, dreams, fantasies and must- haves to writing. Focus on those features of the natural and human world that allow and encourage your lifestyle choices. Once you and Roy have written your criteria lists independently of each other and then read the other's, you will more likely respect differences and be able to evolve to compromises that both of you can be happy with. There are good communities and good people in all the states. North- why? South-why? People in Vermont do indeed act different than people in Georgia. So does the weather. Long lists of pros and cons for each area can easily be written.

Resist impatience. Today's mistaken choice is much more wrenching to remedy in a few years than carefully dealing with today's angst.





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