Homestead mailing list

["Lisa K.V. Perry" <lisakvperry AT gmail.com>]

On 11/28/06, rayzentz AT aim.com <rayzentz AT aim.com> wrote:
> In general, the only problem I have with homeschooled children is the lack
> of social skills demonstrated by many (not all) I have known. I have voiced
> this before, and have had many of you tell me that this is irrelevant. I,
> however, disagree, because despite the best efforts of many on this list, we
> are inextricably connected one to another in our society, and, pending the
> total destruction of our society as we know it (which is not outside the
> realm of possibility), we will continue to be so.


Some would say the social skills kids are exposed to in p.s. are not exactly
what a parent would want for their child. Yesterday, on the bus on the way
home, my Spencer was exposed to a kid that proceeded to say very demeaning
and belligerent things about every person on the bus, including the driver.
He heard this for a full fifteen minutes and decided he'd had enough. Why
the bus driver didn't do anything is beyond me. Spencer only rides the bus
on Monday, so perhaps this happens often and it didn't phase her. I'm just
guessing. Being taller and older, my son told the kid to be quiet (in other
words). The bus driver turned around and asked my son if the kid was
bothering him, or if he needed any assistance. Spencer said he had it taken
care of. We weren't thrilled with what he said, with how he reacted to the
situation, but on the other hand we were proud of him that he righted a
wrong. There have been other instances this semester and last, some positive
and others negative.

It's a good thing we taught our son to say "No," the importance of making
good choices and right from wrong. Since he's been at school, he's had to
turn down several opportunities to purchase drugs of all kinds. Thank
heavens he keeps saying no.  We talk about it often. These lovely
opportunities, these social interactions, could also happen while he's
schooled at home, but the choices are much more readily available--daily--at
school.

Spencer entered p.s. with plenty of social skills, he is mature and
respectful of others. In general, it's a myth that homeschoolers (in
general) have poor social skills. Homeschoolers have interactions with
adults (and other kids) when out and about and often belong to various
homeschooling and/or other groups i.e. the Boy or Girl Scouts, FFA, sports
and clubs (my husband founded a chess club and ran it for two years when my
kids showed interest several years ago--there were 30+/- members).

Much of a child's social skills depends on the parent regardless of where
their education comes from. Whether a child is mature and respectful--or
rude and irrespectful of others often stems from how were they raised and
what is expected.

Lisa