Homestead mailing list

["Marie McHarry" <mmcharry AT gmail.com>]

> .... I believe there are
> things in life beyond our control. We can only control how we react to
> things that are beyond our control --

This pretty much sums up my approach to life. In my opinion, anyone
who believes that chance does not play a large part in life and that
they have control over their destiny has just been durn lucky. In some
cases, even when we react admirably to a situation, we get taken down.

Once, during my incarnation as a writing teacher at an urban
university, I asked my students to argue pro or con on the statement:
In all important matters, I  have control over what happens to me
during this life. I used the topic quite a lot because it was so
entertaining for me -- who says teachers have to read boring essays?
I had all kinds of students ranging from suburban twinkies (who had no
life experience to draw on at all, so they ended up being pretty
boring, but they were a minority) to immigrants seeking asylum who had
been tortured a bit before they came to the US.

The one thread that ran through the native-born citizens was that they
were entitled to success in life, not that they saw it as entitlement.
They all believed that if they did the right things (study hard, work
long hours, brush their teeth every day and floss) they would do well
in life; anyone who didn't do well had probably screwed up or was
defective in some way.

The immigrants, in contrast, knew that you could do all that -- even
floss twice a day -- and life could still kick you in the teeth. Not
that they saw that as a reason to give up. They were tough and
resilient in a way that the American kids could never be. Life had hit
them with any number of things out of their control, and they had
coped, but they also knew people who were their equals who had not
done so well though not from any fault of their own. To paraphrase one
student, There are so many things in that country [a West African
country] to get you that sometimes they do.

At any rate, the one thing I can control is how I react to
circumstances. So far, I'd give myself a numbers of grades but none
lower than a C+.

Marie, the old teacher who learned more from her students than she
ever taught them (though most left my class writing a whole lot better
than when they entered it)