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["Lynda" <lurine AT softcom.net>]

And not just communication.  A lot of it is about perceptions.

Growing up in *real* Northern California, the only racism I *saw* was 
against the color "red," not the color "black."  In fact, the most severe 
racism was what I personally experienced going to school and it was by 
"black" against white and brown.  My "red" didn't count because they thought 
I was "brown" and I routinely was called a "spic," "wetback" and told to go 
back where I came from.

My nanny was black.  We went to her house.  We went to the park and "the 
city" with her son.  She came to our house for family dinners and when her 
son needed help with his motorcycle my dad went over and showed him how to 
rebuild an engine.

The only time I heard the word nigger was when my nanny used it to describe 
certain people who were beneath her contempt.  She used the term cracker in 
the same way.

Never saw a segregated school, separate restrooms or drinking fountains or 
anyone having to use "the back of the bus."  At restaurants the clientel was 
a mix of white, black, brown and yellow.

When I got to jr. high and high school it took quite a bit to rearrange my 
thinking because I had no experience to use to understand what all the 
"fuss" was about.  My mother worked at an "elite" men's store (British 
tailor, imported fabrics, no off-the-rack suits) and two of the six salesmen 
were black and 1 of the 3 in the office was black.  At the annual picnic for 
P. G. & E. employees the picnic area and 3 pools looked like a rainbow.

And since the subject line is about Obama, I might add that I went to church 
with my nanny and her son on a regular basis.  Those churches were NOT like 
Wright's or as described by all the folks who made comments like "well 
you've obviously never been to a black church."  Wright's church is a 
product of the late 60s, Malcom X and the Black Panthers.  A whole different 
animal!

Lynda
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Marie McHarry" <mmcharry AT gmail.com>
> This brings back memories. I used 'fool' around a black secretary.
> Only months later, did she tell me she thought I was a thoughtless
> cracker. She and I got to be good friends. I was using the term as was
> common in my experience, but her experience was different. I wish she
> had told me when I used it. Communicaton, communication, communication
>
> Marie
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