permaculture

[Linda Ray <lindaray@att.net>]

Thank you Cory, for your beautiful post. IMHO the Talking Stick is the best 
solution I have heard for this communication :-).
 
Namaste,
 
Linda

--- On Tue, 9/21/10, Cory Brennan <cory8570@yahoo.com> wrote:


From: Cory Brennan <cory8570@yahoo.com>
Subject: [permaculture] Lakota wisdom, invisible structures
To: permaculture@lists.ibiblio.org
Date: Tuesday, September 21, 2010, 7:32 PM


There are certain things about the Lakota culture and people that I really 
treasure and love; working with Lakota has given me some really valuable 
insights into applying permaculture principles. 

A couple of nights ago at Pine Ridge on a chilly fall night, we shared 
tobacco and heart-speech around a fire, Lakota fashion.  

Each person was given a chance to speak from his or her heart, for as long as 
we wanted to, and say whatever we wanted to say, while everyone else gave 
full attention, respect and honor to that person. What a healing action that 
was for our project!  

When I first arrived at Pine Ridge in 2005, a Lakota explained to me that in 
their culture, they often pause before responding to someone's comment, and 
this is often misinterpreted as "being slow or dull."  In fact, it is a deep 
sign of respect for the other person - an indication that you are truly 
listening - and not just listening, but taking the time to actually consider 
what the other person said and their viewpoint on things, thoughtfully, 
before responding. 

A form of thoughtful and protracted observation...

I am a fast talker from Los Angeles; at first, this manner of speaking was 
quite disconcerting to me and even jarring. I was continually interrupting 
the person I spoke with or finishing their sentence.  I still find myself 
going off half cocked at times, but I've learned something from the Lakota 
way. When I do use this form of communication, it almost always results in 
deeper understanding and better relations. 

To Lakota, listening to and understanding others is important. That is not 
something that is much valued in this culture - we put far more emphasis on 
communicating our own viewpoints and convincing others of them. 

One Lakota friend said jokingly, "sometimes it takes us a week or month to 
respond to someone's comment."  But it wasn't really a joke. I've actually 
seen Lakota do that with each other, and it is totally understood when it 
happens. 

I realized that sometimes it takes all of us that long to truly process 
certain things that happen to us, or that are said to us. Or even years!  
What a luxury, in a way, to be able to wait that long to respond, and have 
the other person understand and appreciate that you are being thoughtful 
about it :-)  

I have incorporated the "talking stick" or "sharing tobacco" into all of my 
community efforts. It is one of the most powerful invisible structure tools I 
know of for building compassion and understanding and therefore, a stronger 
community. 

It's harder via email - I've tried it one on one with wonderful results, but 
never in a group.  But perhaps it is something we would want to try 
here....There really is no reason it wouldn't work, now that I think about it.

I realized after the tobacco sharing that I have a modus operandi on the 
internet, especially when debate is raging, of going into persuasion essay 
mode, which doesn't usually entail careful listening and understanding. 

I am going to hand over the talking stick to whoever wishes to hold it and 
speak their heart with respect and honor. I pledge to listen thoughtfully, 
and to strive to understand your heart. 

Love, Cory


      
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