permaculture

[Martin Naylor <martinwnaylor@yahoo.com.au>]

Aquarius and the Peace will Guard the PLANET

mIEKAL aND <dtv@mwt.net> wrote:   GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and 
nature. What in the world 
is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the 
dandelions,violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a 
perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of 
soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from 
the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks 
of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But 
all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The 
Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to 
great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract 
butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive 
to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass 
growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it 
and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and 
poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow 
really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they 
cut it sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in 
bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No, Ma'm. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will 
grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it 
away? ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Ma'm.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut 
back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth 
and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass 
stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to 
water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a 
sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves 
in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the 
autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep 
moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they 
rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural 
circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a 
new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great 
piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the 
winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy 
something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it 
around in place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, 
you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us 
tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie 
about...... GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story 
from St. Francis.

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