Internetworkers: http://www.ibiblio.org/internetworkers/

[matusiak <dave AT matusiak.org>]

Dear Claire,

WONDERFUL to hear from you.  Very sorry that you are having computer  
problems.  From the MESSAGES you have sent.it looks as if you are  
experiencing some near cataclysmic computer problems.  You might want  
to have a doctor check that out for you.  Once you have the tables,  
you will be in the perfect position to do so.

Since you are willing to read from me today, I must insist that you  
pay me the $2500.00 up front in CASH ONLY.  You can make the MONEY  
ORDER out to "CASH" if you like.  Just make sure not to put any names  
before or after "CASH."  And it has to be in CASH, so you can tell  
Federal Union Express to just wire the cash to me.  Failing that, the  
cash can be delivered by trusty malamute.

I believe we are really very CLOSE to sealing this TRANSACTION.  If  
you could just send me some pictures of yourself with THE CASH, then  
I can feel secure that you have READ my message today and are not  
just a script sending out random text.  These do NOT have to be full- 
body nude shots, but that would help.

Once your SHIPPER arrives, I will be able to communicate to them that  
I CANNOT SHIP these materials.  There will be an additional $1400.00  
shipping tax.  Please include this with the CASH ONLY money order.   
If necessary, just send an additional MONEY ORDER or whatever socks  
you have lying around the house.

I am very confident on you as a buyer of fine tables.  Many other  
offers have come in since yours, but I LIKE YOU the best, thus your  
shipper will get the tables.  These tables are available for LOCAL  
DELIVERY ONLY.  NO third party shippers will be able to participate  
in the contest.  Only one candy bar will contain the code necessary  
to SHIP.the tables.  They are black metal.

I know what you mean about people in the United State owing you  
money.  There are people in that state who owe me money, too.  Maybe  
after your shippers get the tables (and the pictures) then they can  
go extract some CASH from the people who owe me big time?  They  
bought stuff from me online and then never sent the WESTERN UNION  
MONEY ORDER.  Viagra, Cialis and Xanax were their names.  These are  
very bad shippers.  DO NOT SHIP TO THEM!

Thank you for expediting this through your system, as these tables  
are hot and ready to go.  There can be no delay in the shipping  
because they have already been shipped.  You should receive them as  
soon as you send me the pictures of yourself bathed in cash.  Honey  
or molasses helps the cash stick better.

Yours in truth,
Karl

FULL NAME ON MONEY ORDER: KARL ROVE
CONTACTED ADDRESS: 1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE WASHINGTON DC CAROLINA USA
MOBILE&LADLINE PHONE NUMBER: (212) 202-2112   (311) 404-1444



On Jul 22, 2005, at 1:52 PM, Scott Lundgren wrote:

> Like most newspapers the Charlotte-Observer's classified ad revenue is
> threatened by Craigslist. I've put up an ad for a lovely set of
> minimalist back steel & smoked glass end tables I'd like to sell and
> because I'm cheap I added a email address for interested buyers to
> contact me if they'd like pictures. I received an interesting response
> of a Spammer-esque subject, weird grammar seemingly auto-generated
> text, and a complete misunderstanding of how transactions of a
> classified ad in a local paper work. Sure I didn't think this was
> legit, but I sent a picture of the table and explained I would not  
> ship
> the item because of the glass and accepted only cash. Below are the
> replies. I lack the creativity gene specifically for screwing with
> people. Matusiak? INW in general anyone want to suggest an amusing
> course of action?
>
> - SL
>
> The first message:
>     subject: Urgent Response Needed
>     body:  Hello I saw your ads posted which am really interested in
> purchasing it from you.Kindly get back to me these details as soon as
> possible. Price: Total Condition: Picture: Do get back to me if the  
> ads
> is still forsale rigth now.The payment will drawn via Money Order. The
> shipment will be handling by my shipper from you end. Willing to read
> from you today. Regards, Clarie Benson
>
> The second message:
>     subject:      ARRANGEMENT MADE FOR THE PAYMENT
>     body:
> Thanks for the mail,I am sorry for the late response ok,i have a  
> little
> problem with my computer that is why i can email you on time. i will
> have to inform you that i am okay with the price of  the table($50)  
> the
> condtion terms are also okay with me, For the Shippment from your
> location,i have my SHIPPER that will come over for the pick up from
> your location as soon as we seal this Transaction from your end.
>
> Do e-mail me your (FULL NAME ON CHEQUE, CONTACTED
> ADDRESS,MOBILE&LANLINE PHONE NUMBER) For the payment arrangment, i  
> will
> be paying by  Money Order and i will wait for the Money Order to clear
> before the pick up from your location.I have a CLIENT of my that is
> owning me some Fund in United State that will issue you the Money  
> Order
> of ($2500) soon as you receive the Money Order and clear from the  
> bank,
> you will deduct the cost of the ADVERT and the remaining balance will
> be send to the Shipper through WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER for the
> pick up from your location.
>
> If this is okay by you, do e-mail me the following detail
> FULL NAME ON MONEY ORDER:
> CONTACTED ADDRESS:
> MOBILE&LADLINE PHONE NUMBER:
>
> for the Money Order to be made out to you. Hope to read from you
> soonest.
> Regards,
> Clarie Benson...
> NB:- I will wait for the Money Order to clear before the pick up. I
> will compensate you with $50 for you to remove the advert from the  
> net.
>
> -