Homestead mailing list

["Wendy Gulliver" <crazygardens AT verizon.net>]

I don't like to fight.  I love a good discussion/debate with level-headed 
people, however, if someone comes at me and I sense anger/rage etc (violent 
emotions, a category in which physical attraction my mind has also placed), 
I back-up real fast.  Actually, daughter number two is a black belt and, 
when not at school, is a sempi at a local dojo.  I can hold my own in a 
sparing match.  It is not a matter of being able to defend oneself in a 
staged situation, which is more like playing a game.   In fact, if I were 
attacked on the street in an act of random violence, say a mugging, I'm sure 
I could do some serious damage.  The problem is deeper than that.  I have a 
tendency to attract men with a possessive, controlling, using "stalker type" 
mentality, so any poor guy who approaches me for just a little company, no 
how innocent his intentions are, automatically triggers that flight reflex. 
After all, they all start out sweet and nice.

Since it is Thanksgiving season, I have realized that I have one more thing 
to be thankful for: this list.  Just being able to put my thoughts 
concerning this matter on "paper" has allowed me to dig more deeply into my 
own mind and sort out some feelings I had buried.  The first step toward 
conquering ones own fears is to understand them.

Thanks for the show of support.  I love you guys.

Wendy

> > Mom, you're an ass.
> > Yes, I know.
> >
> > That about sums it up.
>
> I don't think being prudently fearful constitutes ass-ness. Seems
> more like common sense based on experience. You are no doubt
> justifiably fearful of those who are bigger and stronger than you.
>
> Maybe a self-defense course?