North American Fruit Explorers mailing list at ibiblio

[Pat Meadows <pat@containerseeds.com>]

>From another list.
Pat (who definitely suffers from ZDD!)

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Zone Denial Disorder (or ZDD)

Here are some symptoms of ZDD:

1. Inability to accept zone hardiness recommendations.  This
is characterized by the tendency to "ooh" and "ahh" over
catalog items and the inability to keep from ordering  
things not hardy to your zone.  Also includes confusion as
to why northern plants can't be brought to Florida and
thrive as they did where you came from.

2. Tendency toward "zone push".  Characterized by thinking
such as "It will be o.k. if I cover it during the cold", or
"If it dies, I can get another one next year."  Includes the
delusion that shade growing will save many northern sun
loving plants.

3. Hording of blankets, sheets, plastic and other protective
gear in order to make vain attempts to save non-hardy zone
plants from cold snaps.

4. Excessive container planting, followed by intensive
transfer of potted plants to a warmer place (like inside
your house) when it gets too cold.  This tends to result in
making your house a winter jungle, which can only be
traversed with care, through very narrow avenues weaving
between the pots.

5. Compulsion to make things bloom out of their zone, when a
dozen or more people have quoted you horror stories about
how they have tried and failed.

6. Weatherphilia, characterized by constant monitoring of
weather stations, weather charts, statistical data, and may
include having a weather board on your wall with all the  
charts and data attached. Includes almanacitis, which is a
obsession with almanac information, and may include a
tendency to collect almanacs from 20 years ago or more.

7. Argumentative syndrome, characterized by a tendency to
contradict and condemn anyone who says you can't grow
something in your zone, coupled with an uncanny knowledge of
statistical and anecdotal data to back up your opinion.

8. Catalog obssessivitis, characterized by a tendency to
order every gardening catalog from every zone in the
southern hemisphere, and an inability to refrain from buying
Dutch bulbs and planting them in zone 10.

9. Extreme mood swings, ranging from excessive elation over
a single bloom to crying jags and depression over the death
of a plant.  Anger over inability to make plants conform to
expectations is common, and may result in violent ripping
out or chopping down of non-performing specimens, coupled
with uncontrollable outbursts of obscenity.

There is no cure for this disorder, but with treatment, a
reasonable level of reality can be instilled into the
sufferer.
-- 
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