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  • From: "Cristobal Palmer" <cristobalpalmer AT gmail.com>
  • To: "Internetworkers: http://www.ibiblio.org/internetworkers/" <internetworkers AT lists.ibiblio.org>
  • Subject: Re: [internetworkers] Loose Change vs. Popular Mechanics
  • Date: Tue, 12 Dec 2006 11:13:54 -0500

gmail tagged this as spam. I wouldn't have noticed the email if
somebody else hadn't mentioned it.

Take that however you like.

-CMP

On 12/11/06, Tony Spencer <tony AT tonyspencer.com> wrote:
The Loose Change boys take on the Popular Mechanics editors in a face to
face debate if you can call it that. Don't forget, the Popular
Mechanics editors are in on the conspiracy :)

http://lippard.blogspot.com/2006/11/loose-change-vs-popular-mechanics.html

And a spot on summary of the 'debate':
http://www.dylanknightrogers.com/2006/10/22/avery-bermas-get-0wned-on-democracynow/

Finally Matt Taibbi of Rolling Stones explains to us exactly how this
conspiracy was conceived at the highest levels of our government.
Hilarious!
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/11818067/the_low_post_the_hopeless_stupidity_of_911_conspiracies

BUSH: So, what's the plan again?

CHENEY: Well, we need to invade Iraq and Afghanistan. So what we've
decided to do is crash a whole bunch of remote-controlled planes into
Wall Street and the Pentagon, say they're real hijacked commercial
planes, and blame it on the towelheads; then we'll just blow up the
buildings ourselves to make sure they actually fall down.

RUMSFELD: Right! And we'll make sure that some of the hijackers are
agents of Saddam Hussein! That way we'll have no problem getting the
public to buy the invasion.

CHENEY: No, Dick, we won't.

RUMSFELD: We won't?

CHENEY: No, that's too obvious. We'll make the hijackers Al Qaeda and
then just imply a connection to Iraq.

RUMSFELD: But if we're just making up the whole thing, why not just put
Saddam's fingerprints on the attack?

CHENEY: (sighing) It just has to be this way, Dick. Ups the ante, as it
were. This way, we're not insulated if things go wrong in Iraq. Gives us
incentive to get the invasion right the first time around.

BUSH: I'm a total idiot who can barely read, so I'll buy that. But I've
got a question. Why do we need to crash planes into the Towers at all?
Since everyone knows terrorists already tried to blow up that building
complex from the ground up once, why don't we just blow it up like we
plan to anyway, and blame the bombs on the terrorists?

RUMSFELD: Mr. President, you don't understand. It's much better to sneak
into the buildings ourselves in the days before the attacks, plant the
bombs and then make it look like it was exploding planes that brought
the buildings down. That way, we involve more people in the plot, stand
a much greater chance of being exposed and needlessly complicate everything!

CHENEY: Of course, just toppling the Twin Towers will never be enough.
No one would give us the war mandate we need if we just blow up the
Towers. Clearly, we also need to shoot a missile at a small corner of
the Pentagon to create a mightily underpublicized additional symbol of
international terrorism -- and then, obviously, we need to fake a plane
crash in the middle of fucking nowhere in rural Pennsylvania.

RUMSFELD: Yeah, it goes without saying that the level of public outrage
will not be sufficient without that crash in the middle of fucking nowhere.

CHENEY: And the Pentagon crash -- we'll have to do it in broad daylight
and say it was a plane, even though it'll really be a cruise missile.

BUSH: Wait, why do we have to use a missile?

CHENEY: Because it's much easier to shoot a missile and say it was a
plane. It's not easy to steer a real passenger plane into the Pentagon.
Planes are hard to come by.

BUSH: But aren't we using two planes for the Twin Towers?

CHENEY: Mr. President, you're missing the point. With the Pentagon, we
use a missile, and say it was a plane.

BUSH: Right, but I'm saying, why don't we just use a plane and say it
was a plane? We'll be doing that with the Twin Towers, right?

CHENEY: Right, but in this case, we use a missile. (Throws hands up in
frustration) Don, can you help me out here?

RUMSFELD: Mr. President, in Washington, we use a missile because it's
sneakier that way. Using an actual plane would be too obvious, even
though we'll be doing just that in New York.

BUSH: Oh, OK.

RUMSFELD: The other good thing about saying that it was a passenger jet
is that that way, we have to invent a few hundred fictional victims and
account for a nonexistent missing crew and plane. It's always better
when you leave more cover story to invent, more legwork to do and more
possible holes to investigate. Doubt, legwork and possible exposure --
you can't pull off any good conspiracy without them.

BUSH: You guys are brilliant! Because if there's one thing about
Americans -- they won't let a president go to war without a damn good
reason. How could we ever get the media, the corporate world and our
military to endorse an invasion of a secular Iraqi state unless we faked
an attack against New York at the hands of a bunch of Saudi religious
radicals? Why, they'd never buy it. Look at how hard it was to get us
into Vietnam, Iraq the last time, Kosovo?

CHENEY: Like pulling teeth!

RUMSFELD: Well, I'm sold on the idea. Let's call the Joint Chiefs, the
FAA, the New York and Washington, D.C., fire departments, Rudy Giuliani,
all three networks, the families of a thousand fictional airline
victims, MI5, the FBI, FEMA, the NYPD, Larry Eagleburger, Osama bin
Laden, Noam Chomsky and the fifty thousand other people we'll need to
pull this off. There isn't a moment to lose!

BUSH: Don't forget to call all of those Wall Street hotshots who donated
$100 million to our last campaign. They'll be thrilled to know that
we'll be targeting them for execution as part of our thousand-tentacled
modern-day bonehead Reichstag scheme! After all, if we're going to make
martyrs -- why not make them out of our campaign paymasters? Shit,
didn't the Merrill Lynch guys say they needed a refurbishing in their
New York offices?

RUMSFELD: Oh, they'll get a refurbishing, all right. Just in time for
the "Big Wedding"!

ALL THREE: (cackling) Mwah-hah-hah!
---
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--
Cristobal M. Palmer
UNC-CH SILS Student -- ils.unc.edu/~cmpalmer
TriLUG Vice Chair
"There are many roads to enlightenment, and thus many roads back to
the One True Debian" --crimsun




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