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  • From: Gina Norman <gina AT vnet.net>
  • To: InterNetWorkers <internetworkers AT franklin.oit.unc.edu>
  • Subject: Re: NYTimes article: He-Mails, She-Mails: Where Sender Meets Gender
  • Date: Fri, 18 May 2001 10:25:45 -0400 (EDT)


> What I don't understand is, why these types of things are of any interest,
> and why they are being researched.

Well, one possibility is that by being aware of patterns, we can (if we
choose) change them.

For example, it was not until after I'd read a study that looked at the
predominance of "question-inflected" statements amongst women that I
realized that I was doing it! And in so doing, was making my assertions
seem weak -- not something that would serve me well in the business world.
And by conscious choice, I've (nearly) eliminated that pattern in my
speech (except when I'm really uncomfortable or nervous -- and I'm working
on that).

I, of course, realize that someone could have "diagnosed" me which
"question-speak" in a one-on-one session, but I've had no opportunities
for that kind of vocal coaching. The study, however, allowed me to "see"
what otherwise might have remained hidden.

And, though I *completely* agree that every human is unique and special, I
find the patterns and tendencies that large groups share fascinating. (To
me it's almost like having a translation guide: when _he_ says _this_ it
*might* mean *this*, even though if I said it, it would mean something
entirely different. These guides **always** must be checked against
reality, but without them, I wouldn't even have known to question my
assumptions based on _my_ communication styles.)

I also take some pleasure in "falling on the edges of the bell curve" in
these studies. I particularly find it amusing when folks tell me (tell
me!) that I must be a northerner (or surely my parents were northerners,
right?) just because I'm more outspoken than people expect Southern women
to be. (Obviously, the people who assume Southern women are "retiring" or
delicate flowers have never met some of our ilk, like Heather H., Rachel
or Joanna!)

Anyway, bottom line is that I don't think anyone who does sociological
research would ever claim that "every man" does this, or "all women" are
that. The power of the research lies in it's ability to identify trends,
thereby enabling us to change them.

My $.02, as always, YMMV,

-gina


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
My brain seems to have a circuit-breaker-like mechanism that, when I get
confused and befuddled by the overwhelming monstrosities of my life,
causes a default to the simplest and most pleasant of thoughts. Like
Marshmallow Peeps. I *like* Marshmallow Peeps.

Gina Norman And the only bit that
gina AT vnet.net (me personally) really matters:
ginanorm AT nortelnetworks.com (me at work) http://users.vnet.net/gina
gina AT earthling.net (me personally, again -- sick of me yet? ;)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~;)~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*






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