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ch-scene - Re: OT: ROOMMATE NEEDED (IN DURHAM)

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  • From: "Doctor Oakroot" <doctor AT doctoroakroot.com>
  • To: "RTP-area local music and culture" <ch-scene AT lists.ibiblio.org>
  • Subject: Re: OT: ROOMMATE NEEDED (IN DURHAM)
  • Date: Mon, 26 Jul 2004 15:42:29 -0400 (EDT)

I used to live in north Durham... but they ran me out for growing the
wrong kind of plants in my yard, lol.



rws6 wrote:
> perhaps i should have noted that this house is located in north durham.
> but,
> where the hell else would you want to live? sheesh!
>
>
> Quoting rws6 <rws6 AT duke.edu>:
>
>>
>>
>> there is a room available immediately in the cozy home of two wxdu djs,
>> known
>> colloquially as FANTASY DUMP. it is a three bedroom house with no fewer
>> than
>> three, additional, public rooms. rent is $895, to be split in three. a
>> deposit
>> will be due.
>>
>> while you are likely bombarded by many such offerings, we think that
>> this one
>> is
>> a little different, a little special. in fact, we offer you several
>> choice
>> amenities not available to most renters in the triangle. they are:
>>
>> FIRE, SHELVES, PARTIES, DOGHOUSE, STORAGE, RED PORCH, STREET CRED
>>
>> allow me to enumerate:
>>
>> FIRE: 1) the main living room boasts a big ass fire place and tract
>> lighting.
>> this room will put you at such ease that any overheard gunfire (see
>> STREET
>> CRED)
>> might as well be a salute to you and that special someone. so get
>> close.
>>
>> 2) the kitchen sports a GAS STOVE, so you can cook your food
>> with
>> actual
>> fire. this stove will also come in handy for cooking up your heroin or
>> cooking
>> down your freebase.*
>>
>> SHELVES: while many so-called apartments REQUIRE you to provide your
>> own
>> shelving, the owners and occupants of FANTASY DUMP recognize that this
>> is an
>> exceptional burden. the available room has an entire wall of shelves
>> that's
>> just gonna totally store your stuff!
>>
>> PARTIES: everyday is party day at FANTASY DUMP!**
>>
>> DOGHOUSE: there is a huge ass doghouse in the backyard for your huge
>> ass
>> dog.
>> also avaiable: a doggie-sized swiss exercise ball.
>>
>> STORAGE: between the basement, attic, and four different closets, there
>> is
>> no
>> reason for you ever to use anything you own.
>>
>> RED PORCH: a red porch fronts FANTASY DUMP, and it's one of a kind. it
>> is
>> so
>> fucking red.
>>
>> STREET CRED: FANTASY DUMP is located a block away from public housing
>> projects
>> and a block away from the Triangle D food mart. the block itself, in
>> imitable
>> durham fashion, is as quiet as a dead mouse. but that won't stop your
>> friends
>> from quavering in their boots and claiming, bald-faced, that you are
>> king
>> shit
>> of fuck mountain!
>>
>> interested parties should reply to this email or call 286.JERX (5379)
>>
>> *applications from heroin and cocaine users will not be considered.
>>
>> **the having of fun not guaranteed at FANTASY DUMP parties. past party
>> themes
>> have included "viva counts his shirts," and "rick! doesn't have cancer."
>> -- ch-scene: the list that mirrors alt.music.chapel-hill --
>> http://lists.ibiblio.org/mailman/listinfo/ch-scene
>>
>
>
>
> -- ch-scene: the list that mirrors alt.music.chapel-hill --
> http://lists.ibiblio.org/mailman/listinfo/ch-scene
>


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