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[Thomas Beckett <thomas AT tbeckett.com>]

A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to 
   the Caribbean.  It was the "craziest" thing he had ever done in his 
   life.  Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared
in 
   upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child's toy.  Somehow, the 
   engineer, hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a 
   secluded island. 
        Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and 
   coconuts, there was little else.  He saw no sign that a search was
being 
   conducted for survivors.  He lost all hope of being rescued and, for 
   hours on end, sat under the same palm tree.  One day, after several 
   months had passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appeared. 
        "I'm from the other side of the island," she said.  "Were you on 
   the cruise ship, too?" 
        "Yes, I was," he answered.  "But where did you get that
rowboat?" 
        "Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the 
   reinforced gunnel from palm branches and made the keel and stern from 
   a eucalyptus tree." 
        "But what did you use for tools?" he asked. 
        "There was a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock exposed on
the 
   south side of the island.  I discovered that if I fired it to a
certain 
   temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable, ductile iron. 
Anyhow, 
   that's how I got the tools.  But enough of that," she said.  "Where
have 
   you been living all this time?" 
        "To be honest," he said, "I've just been sleeping on the beach." 
        "Would you like to come to my place?" the woman asked.  The 
   engineer nodded dumbly. 
        She rowed them around to her side of the island and tied up the 
   boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with a neat
back 
   splice.  They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid and around
a 
   palm tree.  There stood an exquisite bungalow painted blue and white. 
        "It's not much, but I call it home," she said.  Once inside, she 
   invited him to sit down and asked if he'd like a drink. 
        "No, thanks," said the man.  "More coconut juice and I'll throw 
   up!" 
        "It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied.  "I have a crude 
   still out back, so we can have pina coladas." 
        Trying to hide his amazement, the engineer accepted the drink,
and 
   they sat down on her couch to talk.  After they had exchanged
stories, 
   the woman asked, "Have you always had a beard?" 
        "No," replied the man, "I was clean shaven all my life until I 
   ended up on this island." 
        "Well, if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the 
   bathroom cabinet." 
        The engineer, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to
the 
   bathroom and shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed
razor 
   sharp.  Next, he showered--not even attempting to fathom a guess as
to 
   how she had managed to get warm water into the bathroom--and went
back 
   downstairs.  He couldn't help but admire the masterfully carved
banister 
   as he descended. 
        "You look great," said the woman.  "I think that I'll go
upstairs 
   and slip into something more comfortable." 
        As she did, the man continued to sip his pina colada.  After a 
   short time, the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias, returned,
wearing 
   a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm fronds. 
        "Tell me," she asked, "we've both been out here for a very long 
   time with no companionship.  You know what I mean.  Have you been 
   lonely...is there anything that you really, really need?  Something 
   which all men and women need?  Something that would be really nice to 
   have right now!" 
        "Yes, there is," the engineer replied, casting off his shyness. 
   "There's something that I've wanted to do for so long.  But, on this 
   island, all alone...it was just...well, it was impossible." 
        "Well, it's not impossible any more," the woman said. 
        The man, practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly, 
   "You mean you actually figured out some way we can check our
e-mail?"