Internetworkers: http://www.ibiblio.org/internetworkers/

[Thomas Beckett <thomas AT tbeckett.com>]

You know you're from Chapel Hill if.... 

1.    You have a $4000 mountain bike strapped to the roof of your $300
car.

2.    You have been to more than one baby shower with two mothers and a
sperm donor.

3.    Your pillow cases double as grocery bags.

4.    Felix Bloch, former international spy, has bagged your groceries.

5.    You choose your grocery store only after having researched whether
they support and encourage organic farming techniques in third world
countries.

6.    You voted for David Price...but you wish that the Democrats could
find
someone to run who just wasn't so DARNED conservative. 

7.    You are alarmed at the amount of air traffic at Horace Williams
Airport.

8.    You have a trust fund, yet spend all day sitting on the bench in
front
of Starbucks, drinking cafe lattes.

9.    You have very strong opinions about your coffee beans and can have
an
intelligent discussion about the nuances of coffee from Sumatra v.
coffee from Ethiopia.

10.    You have a ponytail down to your waist, but the top of your head
is bald.

11.    You are 49 years old and know how to snowboard. 

12.    You have a bumper sticker on your car that reads "If trees could
scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?" or one that
reads "If guns are outlawed, then only the children of outlaws will
accidentally shoot their siblings and playmates with their parents'
handguns" 

13.    You go to city council to voice your opposition to growth in
Chapel Hill, but have no problem going to the Wal Mart on15-501...after
all that is Durham.

14.    You have advocated a larger homeless shelter in Chapel Hill, so
long
as it does not impact "the historic, village-like nature of Chapel Hill"
and it is not on your street next to your $750,000 house.

15.    You have a big black dog named Wolfe, Jordan, or Kuralt. 

16.    You plumber is great...and she has a Master's too.

17.    You have ever used the phrase "life affirming" in a sentence and
you were not being sarcastic.

18.    You are torn.....yes, a shelter for victim's of gay domestic
violence staffed by Hispanics is a great idea....but you say it is going
to be 7 stories tall and they are going to have  to cut down trees?  

19.    You eco-consciousness is in conflict with your egocentric world
view.

20.    You are a vegetarian, yet your religion requires the sacrifice of
small live animals.  

21.  You think twice about going to Raleigh..........the trip is like
driving to the moon and back.  

22.  A "Late-night"  is a noun in your vocabulary that refers to a party
after the bars have closed attended by most of the patrons of the club
you just left as well as all of the bands that  played that night.

23.  You have www.goheels,com <http://www.goheels,com>  bookmarked on
your computer so you can plan your Saturday errands to avoid game
traffic.

24.  You have the parking genie on your side because you know at least 3
places to park close to Franklin St. where you don't have to pay, won't
get a ticket and won't get towed.

25.  You've double parked on Franklin St. on a Sunday morning for your
Ye Olde Waffle Shoppe breakfast because you know that this is still the
Bible Belt and God (and the town council) allow parking transgressions
till noon on the sabbath.

26.  You know a drummer that doesn't have to have a day job to pay the
rent.

27.  You saw Ben Folds Five with 20 other people and your tickets were
freebies from WXYC.

28.  You can name at least 3 locations of the Cat's Cradle.  (5 by
Robbie Dunn's count) 

29.  You know that a student of the "University of New Jersey South" is
called a "Dookie" and you know why. 

30.  You  know that a "bagger" is more likely to be the fellow throwing
up on your shoes rather than posing the age old query  "paper or
plastic?"