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  • From: Victor Guest <vic@daena.eepo.com.au>
  • To: Permaculture WA <perma@eepo.com.au>
  • Subject: Christmas Recipe and a Wish For You
  • Date: Fri, 12 Dec 1997 11:57:03 WST


Reply-To: Conference "chrm.general" <chrm-general@igc.apc.org>
From: rutbuster1@mcn.net

CHRISTMAS Recipe HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY FAMILY

EXAMPLE: The question is, HOW does the cow-boss get all his folks to WANT
to go with him across that nasty creek of change and become bound by ONE
COMMON PURPOSE?

* One cup Success Say "We can do this". Start saying this to
yourself even with doubts.
Rename all the players. Use positive names. As you thinkest, they become.
The quest for success begins with a TARGET. Develop and post one family
target of pooled words that best describes what ALL the people really want
to do, become and achieve together. This is a family mission statement that
expresses their shared common purpose.

* Two cups Relationship Get to know each person. In order to have a
relationship, you have to spend time with that person. Spend time alone
with each one and seek to really understand them. Learn and list their
ambitions, skills, likes, dislikes, weakness and strengths (Rut Buster
Book) Learn their limitations. We all have them. Pick one of their
values that you also have in common and start a shared project.

* Six ounces of Niceness Become a really nice person. Abraham Lincoln
said: "A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall".
(Do not provoke) Find some mentors and start becoming more like them.
Go about the journey doing good. You are not blessed (nor are others)
when you're yelling and arguing, this just adds stress to the situation.

* Mix in sixteen ounces of Trust You become their helper. Give clear
instruction and expectations. As trust goes up, control goes down. Be
honest and keep your word and promises.

* Add life-long Education Teach them. Tell them what you want to
accomplish with their help. Work with them as an instructor instead of
just telling them what to do. All too often the Boss sends someone to do a
job without showing or explaining to them how to complete the task..

* Stir in a heaping cup of Ownership Don't ever skip this ingredient.
Without this, there is no motivation. Make your goal become their goal.
Don't use only money to motivate. Give them the responsibility with
ownership. That is the good feeling one gets from completing a job using
some of their own creativity. Check back with your relationship list and
make sure they are doing what they like doing.

* Mix all ingredients in a big bowl of Good Communication Learn to speak
their language and communicate on their level. Listen to see if they
really understand your guidance, then speak. Ask the people following you
if they know the purpose of this trip?

* Add lots of Smiles If this ingredient is not present, all other
ingredients will fail. Smiling is similar to the frosting on the cake and
given with enthusiasm becomes contagious.

Test the final batch. Look for the ongoing products: If the Cow-Boss is
doing his shepherd job and enjoying the journey across all the creeks,
the Cow-Boss should find: joy, happiness, and that feeling of contentment
If the Cow-Boss finds frustration, search for the missing ingredients and
add more of it. Can you name the weakest link holding you back?
Focus on that area and make changes.

Clue - Love may be the missing ingredient and remember Love is an Action.
I John 3:10 Dear children let us not love with words or tongue but with
actions and in truth
Waynen & Connie Burleson Nov.1997



  • Christmas Recipe and a Wish For You, Victor Guest, 12/11/1997

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