North American Fruit Explorers mailing list at ibiblio

[Ginda Fisher <ginda@concentric.net>]

This mailing list recently fell victim to a silly mass e-mail from one
of the members:

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: [nafex] Off-topic: Urban legends, etc.
Date: Mon, 26 Jun 2000 08:37:03 -0500
From: Lucky Pittman <Lucky.Pittman@murraystate.edu>
Reply-To: nafex@egroups.com
To: nafex@egroups.com

In light of the recent well-meant posting, I'll offer this one....
==================================================================================

I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's,
(sent to me 
because I forwarded their e-mail to five other people, celebrating the
fact that 
the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose
neighbor, 
a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his
bucket of 
Kentucky Fried Chicken - which is predictable, since as everyone knows,
there's no 
actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government
made them 
change their name to KFC.

Anyway, one day, this guy went to sleep and when he awoke, he was in his
bathtub,
and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got out of
the tub 
he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his
mirror that 
said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his phone because it was
connected to 
his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy
his hard 
drive if he opened e-mail entitled "Join the Crew!" He knew it wasn't a
hoax 
because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software
to 
prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and
distribute 
the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill
Gates.  
(It's true - I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES
HIMSELF, 
who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I
would 
forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)

The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his
missing 
kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which 
unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy's
expense. 
Then, reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an
HIV-contaminated 
needle around which was wrapped around a note that said, "Welcome to the
world 
of AIDS."  Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital - the one
where 
that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is
for 
everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer
Society has 
agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives.  I sent him two
e-mails 
and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if
you get 
it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good luck but
for 10 
people you will only have OK luck and if you send it to fewer than 10
people 
you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).

So, anyway, the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on
the way 
he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful, he
flashed 
his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.

********************************************************************************

Send THIS to all the friends who send you their junk e-mail and you will
receive 
4 green M&Ms, but if you don't, the owner of Proctor and Gamble will
report you 
to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck: you will get
cancer 
from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your wife will develop
breast 
cancer from using the antiperspirant which clogs the pores under her
arms, and 
the government will put a tax on your e-mails forever.

I know this is all true, 'cause I read it on the Internet.

Lucky