The #1 source for news about monkeys and apes

[Daniel Radosh <dradosh AT modernhumorist.com>]

http://www.nypost.com/health/16168.htm

SLAP-HAPPY CIG MONKEYS BEFRIENDED BY THE PUFF-LESS
New York Post 
Wednesday,November 15,2000

By BILL HOFFMANN

Smokers being attacked by monkeys at an office building in India have asked
a zoo to catch the creatures so they can puff in peace - but non-smokers say
that'll happen "over our dead bodies."

"These monkeys are harmless, other than the fact that they don't like
cigarettes, which cause cancer," office worker Richard Rajev raged.

"If the smokers don't like them, let them work elsewhere. Those monkeys will
go over our dead bodies."

The Post revealed yesterday how a fearless army of 2-foot-tall brown monkeys
are terrorizing smokers at the Sahara India building in Patna.

They march around in single file, pouncing on and vigorously slapping
anybody who lights up, as well as stealing cigarette packs out of their
coats.

And now the monkey crisis has turned worker against worker, with smokers
calling for a local zoo to catch the playful beasts and lock them away - an
idea that has non-smokers going ape.

Some of the workers consider the monkeys sacred - and they are revered by
many in India for assisting the Hindu god Ram in defeating the demon king
Ravan.

The smoke-free simians have even managed to make a couple smokers quit the
habit, workers say.

"Many people who fall prey to these wandering monkeys don't tell their tales
of woe, as they do not want to become a laughingstock," said Ramakant
Prasad, a computer professional.

The anti-smoking faction may soon have some substantial muscle on their
side, in the form of one of India's cancer-research groups.

The group is said to be considering an anti-smoking campaign revolving
around the monkeys in which they re-create scenes of the beasts attacking
those who light up.

One of the slogans being considered is: "Cancer is nothing to monkey around
with."