Internetworkers: http://www.ibiblio.org/internetworkers/

[mdthomas AT mindspring.com]

I esp. like the part about the Dow Jones going
over 12,000!

Ruby Sinreich wrote:
> Precedence: bulk

It was inevitable.

--
  R u b y   S i n r e i c h
   
http://www.lotusmedia.org/ruby

----------

Deadlock Solved! - Republican and Democrats Announce Unprecedented
Merger. 
by Arnie Kist 1:02pm Thu Nov 9 '00
 

Precipitated by the possibility of endless legal challenges to the
results of the 2000 election, the CEOs of Americas largest political
corporations announce merger.

Miami, Fla (Reuters) - In a shocking new development, chief executive
officer of Republican Inc., George Bush, together with a jubilant Al
Gore, CEO of Democrat Inc., announced today the unprecedented merger of
their political companies.

Faced with the possibility of endless legal challenges to the uncertain
results of the 2000 election season, both Gore and Bush expressed their
relief and satisfaction with the creation of Demo-Rep Inc.

A tired but cheerful Bush stated, "the business of America is business, I
think. We have competed too long in this competitive competition. The
politics of failure have failed. It's time to make them work again."

Al Gore immediately took credit for the development. "I drafted the
agreement late last night and met with Dubbya early this morning. Let me
tell you, it wasn't easy but we hashed it out."

The decision seems to boil down to efficiency. Both political companies
produce similar products and so compete for a similar target market.
Republican Inc had worked openly as a political umbrella group for the
nations largest corporations. Democrat Inc also performed similar
functions but differed in the way it marketed its services. The merger
will allow for the streamlining of several divisions of the newly formed
Demo-Rep Inc. including their costly marketing divisions.

A Demo-Rep Inc. spokesperson announced that 4,000 campaign workers
received layoff notices today. Demo-Rep would not comment on the
possibility of further streamlining in their costly Congress and Senate
operations. 

Markets greeted news of the merger with open arms as the Dow Jones shot
up over the 12,000 mark, buoyed by the 50 point gain in Demo-Rep stock
price. Investors are waiting anxiously for rumours to be confirmed or
denied on the possibility of Demo-Rep moving their main operations to
Mexico. Many analysts have speculated that such a move might be in the
interests of Demo-Rep citing the high cost of labour, taxation and
regulation in the American market.

However, other analysts were skeptical of the rumor. A source with a
major banking firm stated that the onerous cost of doing business in the
U.S. would soon be resolved. "Co-CEO's Bush and Gore have hinted at a new
regime of corporate freedom. I predict that needless environmental and
labour regulation will be shed once and for all. Demo-Rep will prove to
be an ally of progress and of markets."

Co-CEO's Bush and Gore should end speculation in the coming week.