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[bobf <bobford79 AT yahoo.com>]

I understand, now, Roxanne.  What you wrote makes perfect sense.  I'm really 
not so different in my outlook; I have had to do things that I wish were not 
necessary; but I have never acted in a dishonorable manner. 

My attitude is not as pleasant and positive as yours; but I'm still working 
on that.  Thanks again ................

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--- On Wed, 2/4/09, roxann <roxann AT ancientearthwisdom.com> wrote:


> Bob,
> 
> But that is not what I teach at all - you have extrapolated
> what I said into something that it is not. To be kind and
> trusting does not mean that you think the good guys will
> always win. Quite the contrary, it seems that liars and
> cheats often DO fair well and seem to get ahead far more
> often than I do. What I'm saying is that I'd rather
> not get ahead, nor have my children get ahead, if it means
> they have to resort to the same means as liars and cheats.
> There is so much more important things to do with life than
> worry about getting ahead. My idea of a good life isn't
> necessarily a lucrative business and all the trappings of a
> consumer society. Of course, my children at this point in
> life do not see the 'good life' in the same light as
> me. But one day they might, and then all that I've
> taught them will serve them well in life. 
> 
> And then it seems we do think alike at some things, just
> view it differently. For example, I don't loan family or
> friends money or rent living quarters. That's not
> mistrust, it is kindness. I want to remain friends and hope
> they feel the same. I've learned from experience that
> you can't do those kinds of business dealings with
> friends. To evict a renter is not being cold-hearted or
> mean. It's business and sometimes business dealings are
> not 'nice'. Contracts have 2 parties involved and I
> can abide by contracts. And I will not quickly offer my
> place as sanctuary to friends or family who can't hold
> down jobs or progress in life. Usually they are drug addicts
> or alcoholics, or just plain sponges. I don't think that
> contradicts being kind or trusting. Sometimes you have to
> trust in the Universe, too, that life is as it should be and
> that all will work out okay in the end. My ex used to come
> around from time to time when he was out of money and a
> place to stay. My oldest is his son. His dad was an
> alcoholic and knew if he didn't quit drinking he'd
> die within a few more years. So when he'd come around,
> I'd put gas in his truck and give him a tent and some
> supplies and kindly send him on his way to camp out
> somewhere else. But I would no longer give him a place to
> live, nor support him, and my son understands why. He did
> die from liver failure, btw. But the point is that I could
> have been TOO trusting and naive, and just let him continue
> to negatively affect my life and my son's life. But
> instead I chose to give him tools to survive and let him
> make his own choices as to what to do with them. I think it
> was compassionate and kind, but some might think it was
> cruel to not put him up until he slowly killed himself.
> Either way, I did what I can in good conscience live with.
> And that's what I teach my kids. When you're at the
> end of your life and you look back - what will you regret,
> what would you have wished to have done differently? Those
> things are things I try to address now, while I'm still
> alive to address them.
> 
> Roxann, NW AR
> http://blog.ancientearthwisdom.com (Ozark Musings from the
> homestead)