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[Gene GeRue <genegerue AT ruralize.com>]

The University of California at Berkeley has recently announced the 
discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element 
has been tentatively named "Administratum." Administratum
has one 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111
assistant deputy neutrons giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 
particles are held together by a force called Morons which
are surrounded by vast quantities of "Lepton-like" particles called "Peons."
Since Administratum has no electrons it is inert. However it can be 
detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact. 
One minute amount of Administratum causes one reaction to take over 4 days 
to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratum 
has a normal half-life of 3 years. It does not decay but instead undergoes 
a re-organization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy 
neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places
In fact Administratum's mass will actually increase over time, since 
reorganization causes some Morons to become Neutrons forming Isodopes. This 
characteristic of Moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that 
Administratum is formed whenever Morons reach a certain quantity in 
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical 
Morass." You will know it when you see it..
(Author unknown)