Homestead mailing list

["Melody O." <melody AT crecon.com>]

I got this from a clean funnies list...the subscribing info is at the
bottom if you are interested.  Enjoy!

1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken
computer in it?

2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you
use the bubbles are always white?

3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with
hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message
"one slice"? How many pieces of bread do they think people
are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?

6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times
with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up,
examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more
chance?

7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the
end you first try?

8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light
fixtures?

9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you
kept drying your clothes would they eventually just
disappear?

10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our
ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so,
why do we say, "It's all right?"  Well, it isn't all right
so why don't we say, "That hurt!"

11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something
that's falling off the table you always manage to knock
something else over?

12. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale
and a trash pickup is  how close to the road the stuff is
placed?

13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it
was in summer when we complained about the heat?

14. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

15. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing
it like your wife told you to do it? And obviously if at
first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!

16. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four
Americans is suffering from some sort of mental illness. 
Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then
it's you.

Received from Andychaps The Funnies.

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