All-Permaculture TV schedule!!!!

Graham Burnett grahamburnett at
Sun Dec 9 19:00:19 EST 2001


(meant this time, not being sarcastic as before...)


Let's try the shoes on our own feet and see if we have the same
response or perhaps a different one, shall we?  I think there's a big
difference in origin and intent between satirizing self (individual or
group) and satirizing others that one really knows next to nothing

Subject: All-Permacultura pirate satellite channel: The Daily Schedule 
6.00 PC-Bad TV. Morning objections to prayers, crystals, plant devas,
paganism, etc. as not part of what Bill says should be included in PC.
8.30 Mulchitubbies. Mulchitubbies say "yum-yum". Dipsy and Tinky-Winky
repair a composing-humanure-methane-powered washing machine/coffeemaker
salvaged from the local "transfer station." 
9.00 Shouts of Praise to Bill. More prayers, which *are* OK if to Bill.
11.00 Permaculture Army. The sheet-mulch battalion repulses another
attack by evil, imperialist, linear-reductionist-backed fossil-fueled
agribusiness tillers and combines. 
12.00 Ready, Steady, Forge! Celebrities (you know who you are) make
useful PC implements out of everyday discarded metal objects. 
12.30 Panoramaguild. The program reports on America's new rallying cry,
"one species, one planet!!", and the superpower's attempts to eliminate
absolutely all biological diversity. 
13.30 Xena: Naked Permaculture Nymph. Xena romps around the yard and
harvests maturing summer squash, gourds and melons in her birthday suit
(parse that however you like...). 
14.00 Only Fools and Camels. Bill smokes two packs of Joe's favorites
during this half-hour lecture on the stupidity and danger of using
insecticides and herbicides in the garden. 
 14.30 Green Peter. The total amount of cardboard, newspaper, and
broken bits of this and that for building chicken coops and methane
digesters that has been scavenged during the week by the unpaid
"interns" is revealed. 
15.00 Core Model Challenge. Two more permaculture design courses meet.
Uncle Bill asks the questions. 'Starter for ten, no spraying.' 
15.30 I Love 1981. A look back at the events of the year, including
early design courses in the USA and the beginning of the end of
16.00 Question Time. Members of the public, who have no idea what it's
all about except for maybe herb spirals and sheet mulching and plastic
garden ponds with cute little fountains, face questions from
permaculture leaders. 
17.00 Keyhole Street. Alan Chadwick and John Jeavons face execution by
sheet-mulching for making rectilinear garden beds and advocating use of
shovels and forks.  Will the jury notice that Chadwick is already dead?
18.30 Top of the Authors. Will the Designer's Manual be No.1 for the 
63,728th week running? 
19.00 Who wants to be a Permaculture Designer? David Holmgren, in a
rare public appearance, asks the questions. Will contestants phone a
design course graduate, go 'intuitive', or ask the Permaculture
20.00 Film: Billy's Angels. The three thong-wearing topless underage
sleuths go undercover(s) to expose an evil scheme to plant turf grass
and useless ornamentals in gardens all over the first world. 
21.30 Big Brother. Who, this week, will be threatened with lawsuits for
teaching, speaking about, publishing or otherwise spreading around all
that permaculture information that was mostly compiled from other
sources anyway and was until very recently supposed to be given away as
freely as possible?

22.30 Swirls in their Eyes. More hopefuls imitate famous permaculture
pattern recognition experts. 
23.30 They think it's Annuals all over. Quiz culminating in the 
'only plant perennials' round. 
24.00 When Permaculturists attack. Amusing footage shot secretly in
(former) formal gardens. The filmers were also secretly composted. 
24.30 a.m. The Seed Bank Show. Arts program looking at
anti-biodiversity corporate-sponsored art in the bioengineering
01.30 Bhill the Monocrop Slayer. 
02.00 A book at bedtime. The Designer's Manual. Again. 


John Schinnerer, MA
- Eco-Living -
Cultural & Ecological Designing
Food - Shelter - Community
john at

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