Market Farming

["Marlin Burkholder" <glenecofarm AT planetcomm.net>]

Hey you guys,

I've been getting a little bored with the recent threads.  How about a
little humor?  I wrote this thing up for my CSA subscribers back in early
August.  Enjoy.

How to Make a "Good" Tomato Sandwich

The act of making a good tomato sandwich is a truly refined art, which takes
at least several good gardening seasons if not a lifetime of practiced
experience to get it just right.  Having been a tomato connoisseur for most
of my life, I still consider myself as one who could further refine my
skills at making a tomato sandwich "really good".  I tend to be a somewhat
sloppy person in the way I go about doing some things.  Therefore I must add
that at least a part of the mystique that goes into creating this absolutely
ecstatic gustatory delight is to know, or at least to sense, the right
combination of chaotic messiness and orderliness that needs to go into your
work.  Bear in mind that there are certain things that absolutely must be in
your sandwich, other things that are optional or could be in varied form,
and other things that definitely must be left out.  It is with these
thoughts in mind that I share with you a little of what I have learned over
the years of making and consuming these salubrious, savorous sensations.

Before you begin, keep in mind that you will be creating much more than a
simple combination or stack of food articles put together in such a way that
it is possible to eat in the hands without a plate underneath.  You will be
creating an experience.  It will be an experience that involves not only the
taste buds but also your visual, olfactory, and tactile senses as well.  If
you happen to have the good fortune of having a loose hinged jaw like mine,
you will also be able to add an auditory dimension to this experience as
your jaw makes a popping noise when you open wide to bite into your work.
Also if you have done the job properly, it will most likely be impossible to
eat it without having a plate underneath, unless of course you don't care
about the sticky mess you will be leaving on the table or floor, all an
integral part of the whole experience.

There are seven principal ingredients that go into a tomato sandwich that I
consider necessary to make it really good.  Of course,  I'm a bit
opinionated and I am willing to admit that there are those who could omit
several of them and, as long as the most important part, the tomato, is
still in there, they can still call it a tomato sandwich and they may still
think it is good.  I just think that unless all seven things are in there,
it is not quite complete.  Here they are:

Bread.  It is most important that it is fresh and preferably home made.  I
like 100% whole wheat the best and rye bread, especially if I have Swiss
cheese.  Don't mess with the white stuff from the store and if you insist on
using store bought bread then get whole wheat or rye.  A good test of bread
quality is to pick up a slice by the edge.  If it is soft enough that it
will hardly hold together by it's own weight, then it is the right bread.
Now a slice of fresh store bought white bread might pass this test.  Don't
be fooled!  They shouldn't even call that stuff bread!  If you really prefer
a bread slice that has a firmer texture, there are some multigrain breads
that have this quality and are very good.  The other option of course is to
toast the bread.

Cheese.  Any good quality cheese is fine as long as it is real cheese.  I'm
assuming of course that you already know that American processed cheese like
you get at the store is a poor excuse for cheese.  I favor Swiss cheese but
sharp Cheddar is also great as well as others.  I always like to put the
cheese next to the bottom slice of bread as it gives enough form to the
otherwise formless mass long enough to get it close to your mouth and, when
moist, provides a slippery base for the juicy tomato and onion slices later
to come.  When they go slithering out the sides as you begin to bite into
your sandwich your experience will be further enhanced and challenging.

Meat.  As a self-confessed meat junkie, I consider some kind of meat in the
sandwich to be pretty essential.  Vegetarians may differ with me on this
point but that is OK.  Hamburger or sliced roast beef from grass fed and
grass finished cows is the better choice.  Ham is great but it should be
country ham.  Store bought ham will work if that is the best you can do and
still must have ham.  Ditto for pasture raised chicken or turkey versus
commercially produced chicken or turkey.  I would stay away from most
bologna or other processed meats.  An exception is Lebanon bologna, which I
happen to like a lot on a tomato sandwich.  Fish or other seafood might be a
possibility but somehow the idea doesn't appeal to me much.