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  • From: Thomas <thomas AT tbeckett.com>
  • To: "InterNetWorkers" <internetworkers AT franklin.oit.unc.edu>
  • Subject: Re: A letter from the Californians as a final >byte me<
  • Date: Mon, 09 Apr 2001 20:34:37 -0400


I already knew the one part. About California having all the fruits and nuts.

TaB

At 07:05 PM 4/9/01 -0400, you wrote:

"Dear Friends:

America has engaged in some finger wagging lately because
California doesn't have enough electricity to meet its needs. The
rest of the country (including George W. Bush's energy secretary
Spencer Abraham, who wants Californians to suffer through
blackouts as justification for drilling for oil in Alaska's Arctic
National Wildlife Refuge) seems to be just fine with letting
Californians dangle in the breeze without enough power to meet
their needs. They laugh at Californians' frivolity.

Well, everybody. Here's how it really is:

California ranks 48th in the nation in power consumed per person.
California grows more than half the nation's fruit, nuts and vegetables.

We're keeping them. We need something to eat when the power
goes out. We grow 99 percent or more of the nation's almonds,
artichokes, dates, figs, kiwifruit, olives, persimmons, pistachios,
prunes, raisins and walnuts.

Hope you won't miss them.

California is the nation's number one dairy state. We're keeping our
dairy products. We'll need plenty of fresh ones since our refrigerators
can't be relied upon. Got milk?

We Californians are gonna keep all our high-tech software in state.
Silicon Valley is ours, after all. Without enough electricity, which
you're apparently keeping for yourselves, we just plain don't have
enough software to spare. We're keeping all our airplanes. California builds
a good percentage of the commercial airliners available to fly you
people to where you want to go. When yours wear out, you'd better
hope Boeing's ashington plant can keep you supplied. There isn't
enough electricity here to allow us to export any more planes than
we need ourselves. And while we're at it, we're keeping all our high-
tech aerospace stuff, too, like the sophisticated weapons systems
that let you sleep at night, not worried you might wake up under the
rule of some foreign kook.

Oh, yeah, and if you want to make a long-distance call, remember
where the satellite components and tracking systems come from.
Maybe you could get back in the habit of writing letters.

Want to see a blockbuster movie this weekend? Come to California.
We make them here. Since we'll now have to make them with our own
electricity, we're keeping them. Even if we shot them somewhere else,
the labs, printing facilities, editing facilities, and sound facilities
are all here.

Want some nice domestic wine? We produce over 17 million gallons
per year. We'll need all of it to drown our sorrows when we think about
the fact that no matter how many California products we export to make
the rest of America's lives better, America can't see its way clear to
help us out with a little electricity. You can no longer have any of
our wine.

You all complain that we don't build enough power plants. Well, you
don't grow enough food, write enough software, make enough movies,
build enough airplanes and defense systems or make enough wine.

This is your last warning, America. Lighten (us) up before it's too
late.
Love,
The Californians "

(this is a forward, not written by me or mine)

"I love California - I practically grew up in Phoenix."
- Dan Quayle


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