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  • From: "Sandie Parrott" <rsbirdy@comcast.net>
  • To: "gardenwriters-on-gardening" <gwl-g@lists.ibiblio.org>
  • Subject: [gwl-g] Another subject - Southern Home and Garden Exam
  • Date: Fri, 18 Aug 2006 10:43:55 -0400

This came from my son in North Carolina...unfortunately it didn't come with answers. Maybe some of you can figure it out!
 
Hope this will cheer up your day...dark and cloudy here in Michigan...
 
 
 
We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South,
and we challenge any so-called "smart"-as Yankee to take this exam:
 
 
 1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will
support a 10-pound possum.
 
  2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on
 blocks in your front yard?
 
 (A) '65 Ford Fairbank ( B) '69 Chevrolet Crevalle (C) '64 Pontiac GO.
 
 
 3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20
 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are
 required to condense the product?
 
  4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density
of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The
 plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How
many Budweiser will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
 
 
 5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a
 field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16
 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
 collapses, how many dogs will be killed?
 
 
 6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with
 an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his
 grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have
 enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
 
 
 
 7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep
 slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average
 traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it
 will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
 
 
 8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it
  take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a
 country-western singer?
 
 
 
 As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE, here's some
 Southern advice that may come in handy down the road a piece:
 
  Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop
 and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with
them.
 
 
Sandie Parrott
Freelance Garden and Travel, Writer and Photographer
Contributor to...
Michigan Gardener Magazine
Natural Awakenings Magazine
FREE OC - The Ultimate Free Fun Guide to the California Riviera
The Flint Journal
The Oakland Press
Master Gardener Society of Oakland County Michigan - Trips and Tours
Advanced Master Gardener
Phone: 248-394-1532
Email: RSBirdy@Comcast.net
Website: www.SandieParrott.com



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