[percy-l] The West Wing's comment on Biblical contradictions

Karey L. Perkins karey at charter.net
Thu Aug 14 21:40:08 EDT 2003

The text is from the script of a "West Wing" episode; sound clip link
included for those who'd rather hear it.  Just another take on the whole

(BTW, I wish Bartlett were president - really.)

----- Original Message -----
From: ken denney
To: Karey L. Perkins
Sent: Thursday, August 14, 2003 8:55 PM
Subject: Re: Fw: [percy-l]

Here's the sound clip:


 The president of the United States was about to address a gathering of
radio talk show hosts in the White House. As the president entered the hall,
they all stood and applauded. All, that is, except one — a woman with
strikingly blond hair, wearing a bright green suit. At first, her presence
rattled the president. He lost his train of thought several times before he
finally spoke directly to the sitting talk show host.

“Excuse me, doctor,” the president said to her. “It’s good to have you here.
Are you an M.D.?”

“A Ph.D.,” she retorted smartly.

“In psychology?” he pursued.

“No, sir,” she said.



“Social work?”

“I have a Ph.D. in English literature,” she replied.

“I’m asking,” continued the president, “because on your show people call in
for advice and you go by the title ‘doctor,’ and I didn’t know if maybe your
listeners were confused by that and assumed you had advanced training in
psychology, theology, or health care.”

“I don’t believe they are confused. No, sir,” she responded.

“Good,” said the president, raising his voice sarcastically. “I like your
show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.”

“I don’t say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President,” she replied
haughtily. “The Bible does.”

“Yes, it does!” he shouted. “Leviticus 18:22.” The president was just
warming up. “I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here.
I’m interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in
Exodus 21:7. She’s a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always
cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be?”

After a brief moment, he continued: “While thinking about that, can I ask
another? My chief of staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated
to kill him myself or is it OK to call the police?”

Now on a roll, the president steamed on triumphantly. “Here’s one that’s
really important, ‘cause we’ve got a lot of sports fans in this town.
Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean, Leviticus 11:7. If they
promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can
Notre Dame? Can West Point?

“Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for
planting different crops side by side?

“Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made
from two different threads?

“Think about those questions, would you? One last thing. While you may be
mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the ignorant tight-a** club, in
this building when the president stands, nobody sits.”

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