[NAFEX] FW: Obiturary for Common Sense (fwd)

Trey Lewis mlewis at pelican.state.lib.la.us
Fri Jul 5 15:32:37 EDT 2002

>RE:	Obiturary for Common Sense
>Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the,, name of Common Sense.
>Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from heart
>failure on the brink of the new millennium. No one really knows how old he
>was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
>He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes,
>factories helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.
>For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power
>over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as
>to know when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm,
>and that life isn't always fair.
>Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
>than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not
>the kids), and it's okay to come in second.
>A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the
>Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational
>trends including body piercing, whole language, and "new math." But his
>health declined when he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-
>person-it's-worth-it" virus. In recent decades his waning strength proved no
>match for the ravages of well intentioned but overbearing regulations. He
>watched in pain as self-seeking lawyers ruled good people. His health
>rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance
>Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
>classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and
>a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his
>condition. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent
>to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parent when a
>female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.
>Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became
>contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment
>than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from the
>Boy Scouts to professional sports. Finally, when a woman, too stupid to
>realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, was awarded a huge
>settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.
>As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept
>informed of developments regarding questionable regulations such as those
>for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders. Common Sense was
>preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his
>daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two
>stepbrothers: My Rights, and I'm a Whiner.
>Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

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