OT - Repost Please

Alex McGregor waldenfarm at sprintmail.com
Tue Jul 4 10:00:58 EDT 2000

And so God is giving an assessment of how the Earth is doing::

Creator: "Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the
world is going on down there? What happened to the dandelions,
violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect,
no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil,
withstand drought, and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the
long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees, and flocks
of song birds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now.
But, all I see are these green rectangles!"

St. Francis: "It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The
Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to
great pains to kill them and replace them with grass."

Creator: "Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't
attract butterflies, birds, and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's
temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want
all that grass growing there?"

St. Francis: "Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it
and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and
poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn."

Creator: "The spring rains and cool weather probably make grass grow
really fast. That must make them happy."

St. Francis: "Apparently mot, Lord. As soon as it grows a little,
they cut it - sometimes twice a week."

Creator: "They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?"

St. Francis: "Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it
in bags."

Creator: "They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?"

St. Francis: "No, Lord. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it

Creator: "Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it
will grow. When it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it

St. Francis: "Yes, Lord"

Creator: "Those Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we
cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the
growth and saves them a lot of work."

St. Francis: "You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass
stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to
water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it."

Creator: "What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. Now
that was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees
grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer.
In the autumn, they fall to the ground and forma a natural blanket
to keep moisture in the soils and protect the trees and bushes.
Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soils.
It's a natural circle of life!"

St. Francis: "You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn
a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great
piles and have them hauled away."

Creator: "No! What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in
the winter and keep the soil moist and loose?"

St. Francis: "After throwing away your leaves, they go out and buy
something they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in
place of the leaves."

Creator: "And where do they get this mulch?"

St. Francis: "They cut down trees and grind them up."

Creator: "Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. Cathy,
you're in charge of the arts. What movie did you schedule for

St. Catherine: "It's called 'Dumb and Dumber,' Lord. It's a real
stupid movie about..."

Creator: "Never mind, I think I've just heard the whole story!"

Jan Schmidt wrote:

> Good Morning!
>   Could someone please repost the prose about God and the weeds. I loved it
> and Lost it! :)
> TIA,
> Jan S

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