Pre-teen Dirty Gene Kung-fu Kangaroos

tengu typed, not tengu at
Tue Apr 25 19:44:10 EDT 2000

On Tue, 25 Apr 2000, Rachel Cox wrote:
Does anyone remember the *original* Teenage Mutant Ninja
< I've still got a handful of the Tundra and Solson printings of the
Orig. TMNT.  Anybody remember their origin, that is, the RPG "Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles and Other Strangeness?"  I've also recently unearthed
the original "Starship Troopers" strategy game- what a great
Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamster (In 3-D!)
(Oh, right, the topic- see Bill Hicks, following:

By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill
          No, no, no it's just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant
          seeds. Maybe one day, they'll take root - I don't know.
   You try, you do what you can.
   Kill yourself.
   Seriously though, if you are, do.
   Aaah, no really, there's no rationalisation for what you do and you
   are Satan's little helpers.
   Okay - kill yourself - seriously. You are the ruiner of all things
   good, seriously.
   No this is not a joke, you're going, "there's going to be a joke
   coming," there's no fucking joke coming.
   You are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are
   fucked and you are fucking us.
   Kill yourself. It's the only way to save your fucking soul, kill
          Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going,
          "he's doing a joke... there's no joke here what-so-ever.
   Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a Yank
          friend - I don't care how you do it.
   Rid the world of your evil fucking machinations.
   I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too,
   "Oh, you know what Bill's doing, he's going for that anti-marketing
   dollar. That's a good market, he's very smart."
   Oh man, I am not doing that. You fucking evil scum bags!
   "Ooh, you know what Bill's doing now, he's going for the righteous
   indignation dollar. That's a big dollar.
   A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We've done research -
   huge market. He's doing a good thing."
   Godamn it, I'm not doing that, you scum-bags!
   Quit putting a godamn dollar sign on every fucking thing on this
   "Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant
   market, Bill's very bright to do that."
   God, I'm just caught in a fucking web.
   "Ooh the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market - look
   at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to
   that and then separate them into the trapped dollar..."
   How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at
   night, don't you?"
   "What did ya do today honey?"
   "Oh, we made ah, we made ah arsenic a childhood food now, good-night."
   "Yeah we just said you know is your baby really too loud? You know,"
   "Yeah, you know the mums will love it."
   Sleep like fucking children, don't ya, this is your world isn't it?

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