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  • From: "Paul Fleming" <pfleming@nwlink.com>
  • To: "MSAR" <msar-riders@lists.ibiblio.org>
  • Subject: [MSAR] Better horseman
  • Date: Wed, 19 Jan 2005 10:00:51 -0800

The following is moving through a few of the units up here. Thought the list
might enjoy it.


Regards

TOP TEN EXERCISES TO BECOME A BETTER HORSEMAN

10. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right away.
Shout, "Get off, Stupid, GET OFF!"

9. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "relaxing into the fall." Roll
lithely into a ball and spring to your feet.

8. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200 check
without even looking down.

7. Jog long distances carrying a halter and a carrot. Go ahead and tell the
neighbors what you are doing - they might as well know now.

6. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling to a
halt. Smile as if you are having fun.

5. Hone your fibbing skills: "See hon, moving hay bales is FUN!" and "No,
really, I'm glad your lucky performance and multimillion dollar horse won
the blue ribbon. I am just thankful that my hard work and actual ability won
me second place."

4. Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with both arms paralyzed to
the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.

3. Borrow the US Army's slogan: Be All That You Can Be -- bitten, thrown,
kicked, slimed, trampled, frozen...

2. Lie face down in a puddle of mud in your most expensive riding clothes
and repeat to yourself, "This is a learning experience, this is a learning
experience, this is

1. THE NUMBER ONE EXERCISE TO BECOME A BETTER EQUESTRIAN: Marry money. > > >
> >






  • [MSAR] Better horseman, Paul Fleming, 01/19/2005

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