I'm a woman (not obvious by my name, I realize) just FYI. :D
I've worked in so called male-dominated fields my whole life, so I'm
pretty accustomed to what you're referring to as "boys' rules" of
discourse and engage in them myself at times. I also frequently do call
for more civility in discussions when I think that's appropriate (and
I'm not sure it's always men who get uncivil - I've seen some women who
really go off the rails in Internet discussions as well). In other
words, I don't have a problem playing around with different styles of
discourse in different situations. I try to understand what the other
person means when they write, rather than how they say it, and I
appreciate when others show me the same courtesy. I also no doubt
misread people frequently, and feel that I am frequently misread. The
thing that is most likely to make me angry is when people are either
being disingenuous, or obviously advocating something that I feel is
going to harm a lot of people. In those cases, I don't apologize for
responding with anger. Otherwise, I try not to and I appreciate when
people clarify something that I misunderstood, and I try to do the same
for them. I also admit to losing patience sometimes when it seems
people are more interested in dragging out the clarifications than
getting to the point.
I know plenty of men who seem to follow this same general approach so...
I'm not sure that so much of this is gender based... I really have no idea.
On 8/17/2010 12:51 PM, LBUZZELL@aol.com wrote:
My concern about this conversational climate is about the people it
excludes. For example, how many other women are regular posters on this list?