Bev-
Do you feel the general hostility near your home or just when you venture
toward Atlanta-like locations? I have been in places where I felt some kind
of tension, but not everywhere.
This is probably going to sound weird. I've never tried to articulate this
before. Can you tune out the crowd tension? I know that I can tune in to
the general emotional ambiance, if I attend to it. Mostly I don't. I feel
kind of silly writing this, but feeling the ugliness hurts. People _are_ on
the defensive; they're not open to each other, in general.
Don't you think some of us were born fiercely independent? I think I was--I
told my father he looked like a monkey and ran away when I was 3 years old.
My homestead-y fantasies started early, too, thanks to Johanna Spyri. I
read Heidi scores of times as a youngster, usually by the light coming
through the crack of my bedroom door when I was supposed to be asleep. I
wanted to run with Peter and the goats, sleep on a hay bed in the loft and
eat toasted bread and cheese. I also wanted to help people learn (to read,
etc) and reach out to hurting folk. In a very real way, it's what I've been
able to do. So you're right; it's the result of a part of my childhood, but
it's a happy part.
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