To: "homestead AT lists.ibiblio.org" <homestead AT lists.ibiblio.org>
Subject: [Homestead] New heaviest element
Date: Fri, 28 Oct 2005 15:10:06 -0500
The University of California at Berkeley has recently announced the
discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element
has been tentatively named "Administratum." Administratum
has one 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111
assistant deputy neutrons giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312
particles are held together by a force called Morons which
are surrounded by vast quantities of "Lepton-like" particles called "Peons."
Since Administratum has no electrons it is inert. However it can be
detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes in contact.
One minute amount of Administratum causes one reaction to take over 4 days
to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratum
has a normal half-life of 3 years. It does not decay but instead undergoes
a re-organization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy
neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places
In fact Administratum's mass will actually increase over time, since
reorganization causes some Morons to become Neutrons forming Isodopes. This
characteristic of Moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that
Administratum is formed whenever Morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Morass." You will know it when you see it..
(Author unknown)
[Homestead] New heaviest element,
Gene GeRue, 10/28/2005