To: "homestead AT lists.ibiblio.org" <homestead AT lists.ibiblio.org>
Subject: [Homestead] Back scratcher, the best damn
Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2004 10:11:14 -0700
Those with non-itchy backs: delete now.
Those with itchy backs, rejoice: after decades of writhing frustration, the
search is done. Better than those cute Oriental bamboo toys with bent and
carved notches or fingers, better than an oak tree (except when you are
outside), better even than Chris's strong, loving fingernails is, ta dah,
trumpet blast, please . . . a long-handled steel pasta spoon.
The fingers of a steel, not plastic, spoon are sharp enough and the handle
stiff enough to get the ahhhhh result perfectly--although lingering is
likely--but rounded enough to not tear chunks of back muscle asunder. And
the fingers don't get dulled with use, retaining the edge necessary to dig
into that one place that needs being dug into. A five-buck spoon will last
forever. And you can still use it for it's design purpose. You may wish to
rinse it off between varied uses. Or not.
As it is with all epiphanies, I don't know why it took me so long.
Certainly the motivation was strong. Finally, the answer is known!
You heard it here first. No need for applause. You are welcome.
Do you think it would look silly to have a spoon in each room plus the car,
the shop, the garden, mounted on the lawn mower and the tractor? And of
course one in the outhouse. Now, that would be truly sybaritic!
[Homestead] Back scratcher, the best damn,
Gene GeRue, 08/31/2004