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I think the point here is that you understand XESED quite differently from Reinier. You understand the core meaning as "kindness" (and here you agree with BDB for once!), but Reinier understands the core meaning as more like "loyalty" or "faithfulness", which are one word summaries of his definitions. These notions are not the same, as you seem to suppose, but rather fundamentally contradictory: in English, loyalty is fulfilment of obligations, whereas kindness is doing good things when there is no obligation. Which fits XESED better is not a matter of theology or philosophy but of Hebrew language usage.
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Peter Kirk
peter AT qaya.org (personal)
peterkirk AT qaya.org (work)
http://www.qaya.org/
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