[permaculture] PTSD for farmers??
Sean Albiston
lab at physics.umn.edu
Thu Jan 24 11:17:45 EST 2008
I feel for him and can relate to some degree. I went whole hog into
starting a CSA when I was 26. I spent every bit of my energy trying to
make it work. I got certified organic, wrote successful grants, used the
best season extension and latest information available. I invested every
penny I could into time saving equipment and tools. I put my heart into
it.
I lasted about 6 years, quit last year due to a nagging shoulder injury.
I have never been happier than I am right now standing on the sidelines.
Aside from the wear on the body; at times (in my free time and during the
short winter break) I would feel completely detached from reality, always
partly excited to start growing, yet filled with dread and anxiety. I was
too stressed out from working 16+ hour days and not spending enough time
with my family. I felt alone and started to resent society at large. My
wife found me to be unbearable and too focused on 'making it work'. I
never made much money, always felt the need to grow bigger and better with
no end in sight. I was never mislead and lied to as the author was,
couldn't even imagine...
I don't regret putting all the time, energy and $$ into the farm; however,
I feel the long term rewards certainly don't add up with the game the way
it is. It cost me about the same as my 4 year private college degree. I
learned a whole lot more running the farm than any college could ever
teach me. I have friends now I wouldn't have found any other way. Worth
every penny as an experience, just a terrible way to support a family. I
still have dreams of starting again, I just will have to wait until the
need is apparent, or my kids are old enough to decide if they want that
sort of life. Farming for profit is HARD. Gardening for food is EASY.
sean
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