[internetworkers] INW Interoffice Memo
Michael D. Thomas
mdthomas at mindspring.com
Sat Mar 6 16:40:12 EST 2004
> I was especially pleased to hear from MDT that he is stepping down...
That's what they want you to believe.
Here's the real story.
After leaving the fun and festive INW gathering at Café Cyclo, I got
into one of the INW limos for the ride back to the palatial INW garrison
on a remote island off of the shores of Lake Jordan. After jotting down
a few notes about how to handle the latest Matusiak controversy, I
started to relax while Hillsborough St. whizzed by outside. But then, I
noticed an uncommon smell. Looking down, I saw a half-eaten herring in
the floorboard. I called to the driver and opened the partition. I
remember seeing the driver's long beak as he turned and sprayed me with
some sort of white foam. But then things got fuzzy and I blacked out.
Next thing I know, I'm bound and gagged and sitting in the back of some
sort of cargo plane, surrounded by penguins toting Uzis. One of the
guard penguins got on his radio as I awoke and within seconds a
particularly well dressed penguin waddled back into our area. He was
wearing a tuxedo. He told me that I had "stepped down from the INW
governing council" and that my personal belongings back at the INW
garrison were being packed for transport at the moment. The media had
already been sent a press release signed by my office. I was told the
penguins' diplomats were working to find temporary asylum for me in
another networking group. I argued, yelled, struggled, etc., but after
an hour or so I realized that my options were limited.
For now, I'm at a guest house at the Galapagos Islands. Though still
under guard, I have freedom of movement. I've been able to fashion
internet connectivity by using some friendly carrier pigeons. No, it's
not a T3, but I'm getting by.
Obviously, I'm hoping for a return to my previous position at INW, but
it may take a year or more. In the mean time, be afraid. These new
chieftains are a brutal sort. My advice: smile pretty but watch your
back. In the meantime, I'll do what I can.
But while I'm down here, I have an opportunity that can land someone
some quick cash. During my time with INW, I was able to skim $10,000,000
US from the treasury. (Sorry about that.) I've stashed in a numbered
account in the Galapagos branch of a large Ecuador bank. The problem is
that the finance charges on the account are passed due and it will take
$10,000 in fees to get the money. I can do the leg work, but I don't
have the $10,000 with me -- it was in my other pants. If someone can
wire me $10,000, I'll split the $10,000,000 with you 80/20....
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