A letter from the Californians as a final >byte me<
thomas at tbeckett.com
Mon Apr 9 20:34:37 EDT 2001
I already knew the one part. About California having all the
fruits and nuts.
At 07:05 PM 4/9/01 -0400, you wrote:
>America has engaged in some finger wagging lately because
>California doesn't have enough electricity to meet its needs. The
>rest of the country (including George W. Bush's energy secretary
>Spencer Abraham, who wants Californians to suffer through
>blackouts as justification for drilling for oil in Alaska's Arctic
>National Wildlife Refuge) seems to be just fine with letting
>Californians dangle in the breeze without enough power to meet
>their needs. They laugh at Californians' frivolity.
>Well, everybody. Here's how it really is:
>California ranks 48th in the nation in power consumed per person.
>California grows more than half the nation's fruit, nuts and vegetables.
>We're keeping them. We need something to eat when the power
>goes out. We grow 99 percent or more of the nation's almonds,
>artichokes, dates, figs, kiwifruit, olives, persimmons, pistachios,
>prunes, raisins and walnuts.
>Hope you won't miss them.
>California is the nation's number one dairy state. We're keeping our
>dairy products. We'll need plenty of fresh ones since our refrigerators
>can't be relied upon. Got milk?
>We Californians are gonna keep all our high-tech software in state.
>Silicon Valley is ours, after all. Without enough electricity, which
>you're apparently keeping for yourselves, we just plain don't have
>enough software to spare. We're keeping all our airplanes. California builds
>a good percentage of the commercial airliners available to fly you
>people to where you want to go. When yours wear out, you'd better
>hope Boeing's ashington plant can keep you supplied. There isn't
>enough electricity here to allow us to export any more planes than
>we need ourselves. And while we're at it, we're keeping all our high-
>tech aerospace stuff, too, like the sophisticated weapons systems
>that let you sleep at night, not worried you might wake up under the
>rule of some foreign kook.
>Oh, yeah, and if you want to make a long-distance call, remember
>where the satellite components and tracking systems come from.
>Maybe you could get back in the habit of writing letters.
>Want to see a blockbuster movie this weekend? Come to California.
>We make them here. Since we'll now have to make them with our own
>electricity, we're keeping them. Even if we shot them somewhere else,
>the labs, printing facilities, editing facilities, and sound facilities
>are all here.
>Want some nice domestic wine? We produce over 17 million gallons
>per year. We'll need all of it to drown our sorrows when we think about
>the fact that no matter how many California products we export to make
>the rest of America's lives better, America can't see its way clear to
>help us out with a little electricity. You can no longer have any of
>You all complain that we don't build enough power plants. Well, you
>don't grow enough food, write enough software, make enough movies,
>build enough airplanes and defense systems or make enough wine.
>This is your last warning, America. Lighten (us) up before it's too
>The Californians "
> (this is a forward, not written by me or mine)
>"I love California - I practically grew up in Phoenix."
>- Dan Quayle
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